Ni la chasteté, ni la concupiscence des morts-vivants suceurs de sang—aucun des deux ne doit être souillé par l’argot!

Je n’ai pas lu les livres.

Vous êtes très gentil! Cet arbre, quelles langues parle-t-il? Comment est-il, en français, en utilisant l’argot? Bien que, sans doute, je pourrais bien utiliser un arbre qui est un grammairien rigoureux.

La […]

Ne soyez pas confus. N’ayez pas peur. L’avenir amènera des magies à nous, vertigineuses et éblouissantes, comme les voitures volantes, les bottes-fusées, les licornes-électriques, la perte de poids en mangeant du […]

Yo. I am in recovery [from speaking French]. Don’t make me relapse [please].

But [to answer your question] I will say one thing: nothing gets better when you’re speaking French. To wit:

About stuff, […]

Hooked?

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Allô. Je suis en convalescence. Ne pas me faire une rechute.

Mais je dirai une chose. Rien ne s’améliore quand on parle français. Regardez, s’il vous plaît:

De truc et d’autres choses très intéressantes—ceci […]

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with preparing them, especially if he’s not getting any money out of it. If anyone asks, attribute the recipes to mysterious stone tablets your pets dug up in your yard.

I’m thinking of that column, and another recent one where he jumped from “eat less junk food” to arguing in favor of authoritarian control of SNAP recipients’ food choices.

There’s nothing wrong with his actual […]

While using “bucket” as a command, lead her to it at times when she already has a toy. Get her to drop the toy in (gently wrest it from her mouth if you must). Right after, have her sit, and then give her the […]

This just in: Mark Bittman continues to be a Grade A douche-catamaran.

Always going to the restroom in groups to gossip—you silly men. What’s up with that, huh?

News-related: The reaction most people seem to be having to the verdict in the Rutgers case is impressive; I’m relieved.

I’ll be back for breakfast! (Around 4 PM.)

Thank you.

If you’re used to kind and rational enough people, encountering others who are among the meanest and most irrational around can be extremely jarring. Being the object of an intense, irrational hatred, even […]

Whoa. That’s no good. Schedule an appointment with a counselor; make a point to note the urgency. Unfortunately, hospitals can’t or won’t do much unless you’re at risk physically.

You might try looking up some […]