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  • upinalather posted an update in the group Group logo of P’s With DisabilitiesP’s With Disabilities 8 years, 9 months ago

    Calling attention to this (http://www.r-word.org) movement to pledge to end the derogatory use of the word “retarded”.

    • :D :D :D I’m already involved, and I’d love it is more P’s were too.

      • [TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE DISCUSSION]

        I imagined you might be, sweetie! I happened to come across an article mentioning it while venturing to CNN earlier. I “shared” the info on Facebook, but I don’t really do FB (I’m only “friends” w/my real-life friends, of which there are few, and my family). I doubt if anyone will even take notice, but I had to share nonetheless. I know one of my sisters is aware already.

        In other news, since I have your ear (eyes), I want to share what my therapist (depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder) said to me yesterday, which has had me basically spinning since then. I’ve left a message and she didn’t call me back today. I’ve got group therapy tomorrow afternoon w/her leading, and I want to talk to her before then b/c I will be sitting there in a cloud of resentment if I don’t.

        Anyway, she said (in summary) that my filing for/trying to get disability was “giving up”. I will give her the benefit of the doubt in that she’s relatively new to me (I’ve seen her for only a couple months) and doesn’t really “get” (or know yet, for that matter) my background and full story. The issue I have w/her is that she doesn’t seem to care about that (“care” isn’t the right word, but I don’t know what else to use). She’s very focused on “reframing your thoughts”, which I respect and am working on, but (there’s always a “but”) I have been in therapy and medicated for roughly 17 years and I KNOW ME. I need time. I have been through a very rough past two-plus years and I need the help right now to continue my treatment and need the financial help so that I don’t lose my home. I’m not saying it’s going to be forever. (This is all I’m basically going to tell her if/when she calls me tomorrow.)

        I’m my own caregiver. I have gotten free care for myself b/c of lack of income. I have avoided hospitalization and done the best I can do ALL BY MYSELF. I’m not asking for a parade in my honor, but I think that deserves recognition by my therapist (and my former one did that–she recognized that every time I went to therapy was a victory.). I think that in itself is showing that I’m not giving up. I’ve not killed myself, despite real ideation–for most of my life.

        I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but am I wrong in thinking she was offbase to say what she did? (I’m open to anyone’s input.)

        • I think it’s incredibly horrible for any professional to say that to someone they are treating. What the hell!?!? I’m sorry you have to deal with this bull crap *hugs*

          • Thank you. ::accepts hug; cries on your shoulder::

            This might be the impetus to put a call in to County Mental Health and get on their waitlist (about two months). The place I’m at now is where I was sent by them b/c of the waitlist, about a year ago. They run on state funds for those of us w/no insurance or other coverage.

        • There is no excuse for her behavior. I hope she doesn’t stay like that.

          • To reply to you and @nicocoer, which I’ve needed to do, I talked to her last week after group therapy and she said “that’s not exactly what I said, but go on”. That was kind of gross, but we continued talking and I felt better after that, though I’ve been pretty effing depressed (as usual) over the last couple weeks and I didn’t go to group therapy tonight. It’s the second time since it started in January that I’ve missed group therapy (I had a cold the first time), and I know I shouldn’t stay out.

            • Is there other alternatives to this particular group/therapist?

              • B/c I’m not working (can’t work) and have no insurance or money, I’m at the mercy of the county, who placed me at this clinic. I have called them about an alternative, but there is a two-month wait until June when their fiscal year starts and state funds renew, so my plan is to call back then and get placed somewhere else. One cannot be receiving treatment at any state-funded clinic while on the waitlist, so I can’t break free now. (I know; it doesn’t make sense to me either.) I also get psych meds prescribed there. I’m just particularly down right now. I see the psych doc again next week; she was planning to adjust/change my antidepressants. Again. Sigh.

                This therapist is the only one at this clinic. I could go to another group in the community (like Alcoholics Anonymous, but for depressives); I’ve just never done that. The therapist more or less insists that you go to her group if you are her patient. I respect that, and I like the group well enough, but I’m not meshing with her and she doesn’t “get” me, nor do I feel that she’s invested or wants to. It’s very different from my previous therapist at this same clinic, who left for her own physical health reasons. She was pretty much the best I’d ever had, free or paid by me.

                • D: That’s sad. I’m on medical assistance, but I refuse outright to go to county because of the poor quality. fortunately, County isn’t the only choice for me. wish you didn’t have to go through yours.