Their Favorite Mom

The other day my daughter shared some letters she had written to each member of her family, including one to her birth mother, who is dead, and one to me. The letter to me was heartfelt and said how much she loved me. The letter to her birth mother, which she wanted me to read, said that my daughter would always love her birth mother the most. I told her it was OK that her birth mother has first place in her heart, and that she wasn’t hurting my feelings. I wasn’t lying. Read More Their Favorite Mom

Why I Can’t Recommend Adopting Internationally

I adopted my two children from Ethiopia four years ago. Since then, I have developed a network of friends who have adopted internationally, and they have been invaluable as resources and sounding boards. Read More Why I Can’t Recommend Adopting Internationally

PoC News in America

The Superbowl has come and gone, but the hilarity of Key & Peele’s Richard Sherman & Marshawn Lynch interview sketch lives on forever. Read More PoC News in America

Identifying the Most Dangerous International Adopters

Recently, I came across a GoFundMe for a middle-class family of six that was adopting five siblings from an emerging nation. Their friends and members of their church had set up the fund to help them, and the writeup was gushing about how selfless and wonderful the family was to do that. It was an inspiration. Read More Identifying the Most Dangerous International Adopters

Dispatches from Ladyblogland

So much to read!

Read More Dispatches from Ladyblogland

Three Years In

I am fortunate to have pictures of my children when they were first taken from their family, before we came together through adoption. They are not easy to look at. My son is little more than a baby. He is tiny for his age, but the expression on his face is not childish. He is enraged, his brow furrowed. Even in the pictures where he is crying, his face is contorted with fury and pain. Without being there, I can tell that the tears are scalding hot on his face. His expression seems to say, “I knew this would happen.” He is being punished, and he knows why: it is not his fault, but he should have been able to prevent it. Read More Three Years In

Advice for Women Who Want to Contact Children They Gave Up for Adoption

This is not a “how to do it” article. There are literally hundreds of resources online that tell people how to begin the process of finding a child who was placed for adoption. This is a “how to think about it” article, because trust me when I say that you need to have thought about this very carefully. Read More Advice for Women Who Want to Contact Children They Gave Up for Adoption