Just as surely as Tuesday follows Monday, any time infertility is mentioned in an article on the Internet, a “why don’t people just adopt? JEEZ.” comment (or a dozen such comments) will appear. Read More The Towering Infertile: On “Just Adopt!”
Quick! Here’s a few speedy stories to help you get to know me.
I gave up my daughter for adoption more than a quarter century ago, when I was a teenager. It was a closed adoption; I was not supposed to know the name of her adopters. If I wanted to learn how she was doing, I was to contact my lawyer, who would contact her family’s. Fortunately, the baby’s father spotted their last name on the adoption papers and told me. For the next few decades, I would check in on her periodically via Internet and database searches. Although she lived in the next town, I never violated her privacy by driving by her home or attempting to contact her. Read More How I Met My Daughter
Sometimes I am aware of racism directed at my daughter. There are small things that I think I pick up on, all from well-intentioned people. One time someone asked me if she and her brother were my foster children. Sometimes people ask which state programs they are on. Occasionally there is something overt, like when a friend’s parent told her daughter she couldn’t have my daughter over because she is black. That’s rare, though. Read More Out of the Corner of My Eye: What Having a Daughter of a Different Race Has Taught Me About Racism
A kitten showed up in our backyard last week. My husband found him sticking his nose into our cat enclosure, attempting to see if my old fat cats would be interested in allowing him in to eat their food. Read More Dr. Frank L. Cat, M.D.
I tend to be pretty polite when people ask me about international adoption. I assume that people are eager to learn, and I’m flattered that they are interested in my children and choices. However, there are some questions that I know are just plain lazy, or ignorantly combative. Read More So, You Have a Question About My Choice of International Adoption
Several years ago, my husband and I adopted two children from an African country. I am a researcher by trade, so I did my best to figure out what would be needed (in addition to the financial part). I took parenting courses. I learned how to deal with a transracial family (before anyone freaks out, transracial is the term used by adoption agencies and the U.S. government to describe the phenomenon of children of one color being adopted by parents of another color). But nothing prepared me for what I was going to face. Read More So You Are Considering International Adoption: What You Should Know
This week on The New Normal, we deal with over-enthusiastic present-givers and becoming a foster parent. Though we talk way more about the first than about the second.