Recap: America’s Next Top Model, Episode 16.13: “Rose Petals Lead to Tragedy”

It’s the end of America’s Next Top Model for another season. I know you’ve been waiting to see who won, Persephoneers. You can’t spell “anticipation” without the words “Titanic piano.” I am even now playing a swan song on my Yamaha keyboard as this ship o’ moddles sinks into the icy depths of the North Banks-lantic. Who will drown? Who will stay afloat thanks to the enormous amounts of liquor they’ve consumed?

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Recap: America’s Next Top Model, Episode 16.12: “Yo Model So Emo, When She Sits Around the House, She Cries a Lot.”

There are only two more episodes left of America’s Next Top Model for Cycle 16! Can you feel the excitement? Can you feel the tension?! My cat just yawned. IT’S ON, PERSEPHONEERS! Who will make the final two? Molly? Hannah?? Brittani??? Should I ask more questions? WHY AM I ASKING YOU? YOU ARE NOT HERE!

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Recap: America’s Next Top Model, Episode 16.10: “What I Did for Modeling: Camel-Straddling Edition.”

There are only FIVE models left! Five moddles moddling in Morocco on America’s Next Top Model! Get ready for a lot of screaming about camels. “OMG IT’S A CAMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!” It was just like that. Hannah cracked the inevitable “camel toe” joke. I’m a classy bitch, so I would have stuck with a “hump” joke.
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