Hello, Persephoneers! Crystal asked me to take over the Bones recaps for a bit so we’ll be having this cozy chat every week for the next few months. I’ll do my best to maintain her professional tone and keep my snark to a minimum but if it seeps out occasionally, I hope you’ll make allowances. I hear it’s dangerous to keep that stuff in.
The world of Bones is not a happy place as we open season nine. In the last episode of S8, Brennan proposed to Booth, who accepted with a happy twinkle in his eye — which lasted until Sooper Evil Baddest Guy Ever Christopher Pelant threatened to kill random people if Booth didn’t break off the engagement. (Note to Hart Hanson: Before you kill off Pelant, please make him shave his head, bite his pinkie and ask for one… million… dollars. Come on, you know you want to!)
Filling in for Crystal this week, I’m recapping Monday night’s highly anticipated, and highly hyped, episode of Bones. Brennan gets shot, Brennan dies, Brennan sees her mom again, Brennan lives, the end. What? You want more? *sigh* Fine.
Scalping, academic publishing, baby blues, and blow-outs? It’s an all over the place episode of Bones, this week, and even Brennan ends up seeming kind of disgusted at the killer.
BONES IS BACK!!! AND THE BABY IS COMING!!! ALL CAPS ARE NECESSARY!!!!!1!!!! Oh, and there’s a case, but who cares about that because BABY IS COMING!!!!
A retiring postal employee shows a new guy the ropes around the dead letter office. He explains that twice a year, they open up the packages that end up there. As the new guy opens up a gross, bloody package, Retiree snarks that he found a dead cat once. New Guy has him beat”¦ it’s a human skull, complete with an eyeball still in there, I think.
Men run around in military-style camo, but it’s not a tactical mission, it’s just paintball. One of the brave paintballers goes all Leroy Jenkins and gets covered in paint, obscuring his vision. He falls on what he thinks is another player, but it’s totally a dead body. And one of the grossest ones we’ve seen in a while. My husband was disconcerted at how much it resembled the hummus he was snacking on as we were watching. Ew. Read More Recap: Bones, Episode 7.01, “The Memories in the Shallow Grave”
At a traffic stop, Booth is explaining to Brennan why the FBI is getting involved with something as mundane as a traffic stop: dodgy El Salvadoran neighborhood, Virginia plates, RICO, suspected drug dealer… it’s just messy all around. Especially when they find the decomposing body in the trunk. Brennan says it’s a female, recently dug up. The car’s driver, who has a gang tattoo on his neck, isn’t talking, and neither are any of the bystanders. Suddenly, a drive-by shooting interrupts the investigation and the driver takes the opportunity to run away. Booth chases him, but apprarently this guy can climb fences better with his arms handcuffed than Booth can with both hands. I mean, really.
Read More Retro Recap: Bones, Episode 1.13, “The Woman in the Garden”