No is a Complete Sentence

Q. Is it bad to have friends with benefits? I am new to having sex as of a year or so ago, and I’ve only had sex with two people, many times. I’m only 18, but the two people I’ve had sex with were (and are — I’m having sex with someone presently) not my boyfriends. Is it bad if I’m just trying to learn? Should the guy always be the one to teach the girl? Read More No is a Complete Sentence

Awkwardette’s Ill-Advised Guide to Getting it On: How to Survive Doing a Friend

We’ve all probably watched way more romantic comedies than we’d like to ‘fess up to. Truth is, romantic comedy is my favorite genre. It was good enough for Shakespeare and Tennessee Williams (The Glass Menagerie is a romantic comedy, right?), so it’s good enough for me. One problem: as much as the When Harry Met Sallys of the world make me laugh and feel giddy and good inside temporarily, they fill my brain with an impressive amount of bullshit. I’ve had to unlearn a lot of this bullshit, especially in 2011. 2011 was a particularly difficult year for “friends with benefits” learning, and I’m not even talking about the creepily similar J Tims and Ashton Kutcher vehicles on the subject that both came out this year alone and were so rife with terrible advice and false ideals that I can’t even really address it further – so here is my attempt to set us straight on doing it with friends.

A Learning Experience

Q: Is it bad to have friends with benefits? I am new to sex as of a year or so ago and I’ve only had sex with 2 people many times. I am only 18, but the two people I’ve had sex with were/are (I’m having sex with someone presently) not my boyfriends. Is it bad if I’m just trying to learn, and should the guy always be the one to teach the girl? Read More A Learning Experience

The Half-Baked Rebellion of “Friends With Benefits”

In his review of the recently-released Friends With Benefits (2011), Toronto film critic Jason Anderson discusses the recent trend of Hollywood films “treating sex too casually.” To be clear, Anderson makes no attempt to argue for or against any moral implications of casual sex; rather, he discusses how such a casual treatment upends the traditional formula of romantic comedies. He writes: Read More The Half-Baked Rebellion of “Friends With Benefits”

“How Can I Get Past My Past?”

Q: I’m feeling bad about my sexual history. I don’t have that many previous partners, but I have had a one-night stand and some other casual sex. My boyfriend has been with me and one other serious long-term partner. He hasn’t asked to know about my sexual history beyond us talking about if we’d both been tested. Read More “How Can I Get Past My Past?”

Introducing the DIY Bride

A few years ago, I had resigned myself to the fact that I probably wasn’t getting married. I had never been one to view marriage as any type of ultimate goal in life, but after a string of bad relationships, the last of which left my usually strong and quite healthy self esteem in tatters, I was pretty much done. Read More Introducing the DIY Bride