One of the joys of writing a sex column is the amount of questions we get. Without continued questions, there is no column and no way to talk about experiences or problems we may or may not have experienced. In many ways, it’s a little bit like group therapy, and even though I’m on one end of the question and answer dynamic, I feel as if we are all on that big couch, figuring it out together. Read More Sex On The Micro Side: Your Questions, Redux
Q. Could you write a primer, or provide links to decent online ones, on how to either get into a local kink community or find safe, like-minded people? Specific advice for individuals who are new to kink and do not know what they want yet would be especially appreciated. Thanks for your awesome column! Read More Baby Stepping Towards Kinksterdom: How To Get Involved in Your Community
It seems like there are new Persephoneers joining us every day (yay!), so this week, we’ll be taking a look back at some of our posts you may have missed. Also, it’s exam week for paperispatient, plus today is our anniversary (we are accepting e-cards and cash donations as gifts), so frankly, we feel justified in phoning this one in. Read More Greatest Hits
This is the second half of our two-part series in response to a request for information on light bondage. Today – toys! Read More Bondage 101 (Part 2)
Q: I’m having some trouble with a new partner of mine not respecting my boundaries. I have told him repeatedly not to leave visible bite marks/hickeys on my neck/upper chest, but he keeps doing it. I think that part of the problem is that I enjoy being bitten hard, so when even though I’ve told him outside the bedroom that it’s not ok, he assumes that because it feels good while we’re having sex that it’s ok to do. Read More Boundaries and Biting: “What Should I Do?”
Q: What do you do when you find yourself dependent on a particular kink to get turned on or get off? I’m into kink-light (hair pulling, some domination and restraint, but nothing too major) and I am totally ok with all this. But, it’s not what I want all of our sex to be, and I find myself getting so much more turned on when that’s a part of our activities, and it’s gotten to the point where I’m not particularly into it until my boyfriend starts pulling my hair or getting a little rough. Basically: how do you balance kinks and fetishes with a desire to continue getting turned on by and getting off on “vanilla” sex?
Q: How do I get my partner to hit me harder? I like being slapped during sex, and he will oblige but I think it weirds him out, and he does it very tentatively. I know I should just talk to him, but it’s really really hard for me to talk about when I’m not in the moment. I’m a feminist, and he has not a trace of machismo, so I feel like I’m asking for something out of character for both of us. But I like it!