It’s the end of America’s Next Top Model for another season. I know you’ve been waiting to see who won, Persephoneers. You can’t spell “anticipation” without the words “Titanic piano.” I am even now playing a swan song on my Yamaha keyboard as this ship o’ moddles sinks into the icy depths of the North Banks-lantic. Who will drown? Who will stay afloat thanks to the enormous amounts of liquor they’ve consumed?
There are only two more episodes left of America’s Next Top Model for Cycle 16! Can you feel the excitement? Can you feel the tension?! My cat just yawned. IT’S ON, PERSEPHONEERS! Who will make the final two? Molly? Hannah?? Brittani??? Should I ask more questions? WHY AM I ASKING YOU? YOU ARE NOT HERE!
This week on America’s Next Top Model, your recapper felt ancient and thanked her lucky stars that she wasn’t twenty years old anymore. Well, maybe she wished her ass were still twenty years old. Just not the rest of her.
Read More Recap: America’s Next Top Model, Episode 16.7, “To a Shut-the-Fuck-Uppery, Go, and Quickly Too!”