Losing the Little One

It’s a damp day: not cold, but clammy and fatigued. I walk in and see Laila sitting near the bar. She’s tense. Her shoulders are pulled up tight to her ears, and her hands are balled in her lap. I’m about to dig in to something intensely personal and painfully absent in her everyday life. (Trigger warning for pregnancy loss.) Read More Losing the Little One

Getting Ready for Baby

If your dog isn’t housebroken, don’t get pregnant. If your dog is protective, fearful, or neurotic, don’t have a baby. If your dog is not child-ready, don’t have a child in your home.

In an ideal world, the things in the preceding paragraph would be considered logical and not insulting. However, life isn’t logical, and people with unsuitable dogs end up pregnant. And unfortunately, people often handle this dilemma selfishly, stupidly, or naively. Too often, they handle it disgracefully. Read More Getting Ready for Baby

The Pregnancy Promise

So someone you are close to is having a baby — what an exciting, joyous time. Well, I’m here to make it better, because I’m about to tell you the most important thing you can know, and it’s beautifully, elegantly simple.

Don’t comment on the mom’s size or appearance, or the baby’s size. Ever. Not one word. For nine months. Read More The Pregnancy Promise

This Week in Lady Reads

In case you missed them, here’s what we were reading last week about a recently retracted study, Game of Thrones, and much more. Plus, NSFW pics of a Harry Potter actor that, let’s face it, you’ve probably seen by now, but it can’t hurt to look again, amirite? Read More This Week in Lady Reads

This Week in Misogyny Will Not Break the Internet

Butts, y’all. And also some real news. (As usual, trigger warnings for pretty much everything apply.) Read More This Week in Misogyny Will Not Break the Internet

31 Days of Halloween — Day 20, Possessed Pregnancies

It’s not hard to understand how pregnancy can be a source of angst and dread. Even in wanted pregnancies, there are very real fears, from the healthy development of the fetus to the specter of maternal and/or fetal death. Women are bombarded with warnings, directions, and horror stories full of “what ifs” and “could happens.” Hormones interrupt sleep and cause emotional swings. The pregnant body becomes community property, constantly prodded and poked by health care professionals and touched and focused on by friends (sometimes tolerable) and strangers (hardly ever). Everyone watches you. Everyone tells you what to do. Nothing you do, nowhere you go, nothing you consume, is solely yours anymore – if there’s not some well-meaning busybody telling you what you should or shouldn’t be putting in your body, there’s the internal pressure of every stinking baby book consumed reminding you that anything you do could harm your child at any moment. Read More 31 Days of Halloween — Day 20, Possessed Pregnancies

This Week in Misogyny Is Not Down with Fracking for the Cure

“Awareness” has gone too far. TOO FAR. And there’s plenty of truly tragic news this week to go along with the shit that’s merely infuriating. But if you can make it through to the end, Jessica Williams will make it all better. (As usual, trigger warnings for pretty much everything apply.) Read More This Week in Misogyny Is Not Down with Fracking for the Cure