This is the main event – are you ready?! Last night the world crowned the queen of drag! Well, one queen of drag. The fifth queen of drag. Not counting All-Stars. Or Ru. Okay, last night a crown was given to a drag queen, who was voted to be pretty nifty.
And now. We’re down. To the. Final… Three. It’s Rolaska vs. Jinkx in the prize fight, bringing you a one-two punch of too much eye makeup on RuPaul’s Drag Race! In this corner, not-Sharon Needles! In that corner, Roxxxy “LOL You Have Narcolepsy” Andrews. In this third corner, get ready for some Hi-Jinkx! And in the last corner… I guess the camera or something.
The last four drag queens on RuPaul’s Drag Race are RoLaskaTox and Jinkx Monsoon. One of these things is not like the others, Persephoneers! Jinkx was sweating in her hidden places, knowing she was a lone fish in a hostile pond.
There are only five drag queens left on RuPaul’s Drag Race, and as Alaska put it, “It’s turned quickly from Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants to Sisterhood of I’m Going to Kill You So I Can Win.” It’s getting ugly in there, kids! And that’s the best part!
Something fishy happened last week, blog friends. It was a real drag. I almost wigged out! Yes, RuPaul’s Drag Race was a repeat, but this week we’re back with all new entertainment, if not new puns. So tuck in and read my recap! Okay, I’m done.
I am on a heavy dose of cold meds, friends, so if this recap has a little extra whatthewhat, please bear with me. I’m slower than the time it took for Coco to finally remove her head from her butt and give winning RuPaul’s Drag Race the old college try. If she can come out on top in a challenge, then I can sense make.
Persephoneers, put a match to your pilot light, because we’re gonna have a roast up in here! Sadly, I cannot transmit any hot beef over the interwebs*, so you’ll have to be content with our favorite queens roasting Ru and the judges on this episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race!
There are only eight queens left, and it’s (as Alyssa put it) “balls to the wall” time. I guess that means (presumably) sixteen big balls stuck on the wall vying for favor from Ru. I think I just described the porn RuParody of this show.