The Things We Do To Our Children: Shame and Sex

Q. I don’t know how to say it. It might be considered as not a problem, but I feel really ashamed when I think of it. I am 21 and still a virgin. I’ve had boyfriends and we were practicing petting sometimes, one of them gave me oral sex, but I’ve never had sex, as I think I might be terrible at it and they may be only disappointed. Sometimes I think I really want this, but then something still keeps me from making the step. I don’t know if it’s the fear of unwanted pregnancy, or shame of virginity at age of 21, or the shame of my body. So I feel quite frustrated about all this, and I have no one to talk to about it. Read More The Things We Do To Our Children: Shame and Sex

Fear of The Scarlet Letter “H”

Q. Logically, I know that if I can get a pimple/blemish on any other part of my body, then it stands to reason that my girl bits could also get what seems like a pimple. That doesn’t stop a small voice in me from freaking out, like, “OMG, I have some sort of horrible disease that I don’t know about,” even if every annual exam comes up A-OK. Put my mind at ease? Read More Fear of The Scarlet Letter “H”

Days Like These

Days like these I am so grateful that I have my own office. That I have my own office on the top floor of a tall building with no elevator, isolated and difficult to access, with little chance of somebody just stopping by without notice. I am grateful, too, that I have the kind of job where the most important thing is that I get my work done, not that I spend X amount of time on something. I can stay home if I need to, I can come and go with flexibility. I am lucky. Read More Days Like These

On New Year’s Resolutions, Shame and Change

The knowledge that millions of people world-wide are now simultaneously vowing to relinquish their “bad habits” and seek out “positive growth” is both a source of motivation and incredibly scary to me. I love being part of group activities–fame-seeking, elementary-school-age Meghan wanted nothing more than to be part of one of those huge Guiness World Records, like the most people yodeling on a football field or the most people holding their breath underwater simultaneously. Read More On New Year’s Resolutions, Shame and Change