It’s that time of the week again, when one of our male readers answers seven questions for our entertainment. If you’re a male reader or if you know a male who would provide us with clever answers, send him our way. Subject B’s answers after the cut. 1. You’re running for mayor, what’s your campaign slogan?
I don’t suck. My opponent does. And his mom dresses him funny.
2. You’re given a restaurant to run, but only have the resources to serve one entrÃ©e, one side dish, one dessert and one beverage. What are they?
Hot Braised Chicken, thrice baked garlic smashed potatoes (much better than twice baked), butterfinger ice cream and blueberry-pomegranate fruit juice. These are a few of my favorite things.
3. Cosmo claims it’s sexy for a woman to playfully slip her scrunchie ponytail holder around her lover’s member during foreplay. Is there any truth to this claim?
If I had a lover who chose to slip anything around, under, over or sideways my member that wasn’t called a cheese grater, I would not be inclined to care if I considered it sexy. Anything touching my member other than my own digits is best described as welcome, but it will only be from a woman considered more than just a lover.
4. What songs are on the mixtape you play when you want to get lucky?
Most likely the songs on the closing credits of a chick flick I was forced *cough* I mean was happy to watch with my lady. Reference answer 3 as to why I would be listening to this “mixtape”.
5. What was the last book you read?
Under Heaven by Guy Gavriel Kay.
6. You’re granted super hero status unexpectedly. What’s your name and what’s your superpower?
When I was a horny teen I began to wonder how Reed Richards from the Fantastic Four wasn’t every woman’s ultimate fantasy. Heck, he could strech and elongate everything. I mean everything. So I decided to mix some of his power with Ben Grimm (The Thing) and be able to harden what was streched and call myself The Intergalactic Playboy. Yes, I was a lonely geek. With an elongated imagination.
7. Mad Lib answer: Give me two nouns, two adjectives, a verb and an interjection.
Platypus, Pistachio, Picayune, Perfunctory, Perspire, Pucker!
I am a picayune platypus with the heart of a perfunctory pistachio. In a phrase, I perspire. So pucker!
If you know a man who’d like to answer the 7 Questions, snag his answers and promise his anonymous status will stay intact. Send them along to me and we’ll run them on an upcoming Tuesday.