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It Was a Big, Fat Gleek Wedding

I know it’s a little late, but I loved last week’s Glee so much I had to write about it.    As the weirdo around here who only watches new TV once a week, I’m a lousy recapper, or at least not a very timely one, but I hope you’ll join me in throwing rice at my favorite TV couple ever, Burt Hummel and Carole Hudson.  

Previously on Glee – Stuff happened, but it doesn’t matter because consistency is not really a big priority on Glee.  Okay, that’s not totally the case this week.  We have seen Burt and Carole growing closer since they met last year, we did see poor adorable Kurt getting bullied by Ham Hock with no back up except a half assed effort by Old Creepy Schue.   That sets the stage for last Tuesday’s episode, which featured what I’d consider to be the best TV wedding ever.  I want another wedding so I can find Glee kids to sing and dance down the aisle!  Perhaps I’ll marry myself…

The episode opens with Kurt sandwiched between a giddy Burt and Carole, seeking out Finn to give him some big news.  In case you haven’t guessed, the big news is that Burt proposed to Carole in the classroom where Kurt introduced the two of them.  Aw! Burt, you big romantic teddy bear.    Carole agreed and now Kurt is planning a shindig to beat all shindigs.

Coach Sylvester, stung by hearing that her former anchor beau (we’re going to call him Kent Brockman, as I can’t remember his name) is marrying his dingy co-anchor, decides to marry herself.   With her faithful sidekick, Becky, (I love Becky so much, she’s a tiny blond TV badass in a long tradition of tiny blond TV badasses.) she managed to plan a ceremony where she will be the bride, the other bride, the officiant (thanks to the internet) and walk herself down the aisle.  We see her addressing and stamping thousands of invitations when in walks Carol Freaking Burnett, who is Sue’s Nazi hunting mother.   They’ve finally caught the last of the Nazis, she tells Sue, they smoked out Eva Braun’s great-nephew working as a CPA in Phoenix, and Mama Sylvester ended him.   Apparently.  In this scene, we learn a few things.  1. Sue comes by everything naturally.  2. So Sue is not a fan of her mom, as Sue dislikes everything Sue-like except Sue and Mini Sue, Becky.  3. Carol Freaking Burnett is freaking awesome.   (An aside – when I shared the same at Other Ladyblog, someone replied that THEY’D NEVER HEARD OF CAROL BURNETT. Oh the humanity. I sprung five new gray hairs just reading it.)

Meanwhile, back in the choir room, Rachel has gathered all the lady Glees to enlist their boyfriends to beat the shit out of Ham Hock for Kurt.   Quinn accuses Rachel of setting back the feminist movement 50 years, but I think if given the opportunity, Rachel would give kicking his ass herself the old college try.   Santana says Puck can’t help, as he is still on probation.  Quinn insists she’s not dating Chord Overstreet, so she can’t help.   Tina and Brittany are all about getting Mike Abs and Artie in on it, however.  When Rachel fills in Finn, he balks, and she gives him the stink eye.   In the locker room, Mike Abs and Artie stand up for Kurt, Ham Hock slams Abs into Artie and they’re down.  Hard.  Ow.  Chord Overstreet steps up and gets his ass handed to him.  Coast Biest yanks Ham Hock off of Chord by the scruff of his neck.  I love you, Ms. Biest.  I’m hoping the bring back Coach Tenaka, because I think you two crazy kids would be perfect together.

Back in the choir room again, Quinn is icing up Chord Overstreet, Brittany is about to jump Artie right there and Tina is fussing over Mike.  It’s kind of adorable.  Mercedes calls out Finn for being a lame-o and not helping to bring down Ham Hock.  Kurt defends him, because Kurt is made of angel wings and divinity candy.  Mike calls Chord Overstreet a true leader, Finn gets pissy, because HE wants to be the true leader, which is why he didn’t step in to defend his future brother in the first place.  Because Finn is thick in the head.

OOOH, it’s the Sylvester ladies duet and it’s freaking beautiful.   Later on today, Sara B. is writing a piece on the old school triple threat (singer/dancer/actor) and Ms. Burnett is absolutely one, plus she’s one of the funniest people ever to be on my teevee.   (The Carol Burnett show is on DVD, go watch and see the master at work.) The duet is framed by mother-daughter trouble between Sue and Mama Sue. The after song banter is set to Broadway style background music, and it’s like The Producers without that annoying Broderick fellow.  Mama Sylvester leaves, letting Sue know Mama is wearing white to Sue’s wedding.

Kurt is teaching his dad and Finn how to not look like doofuses when they dance at the wedding.  Finn gets all weird again.  Oh, Finn.  Ham Hock peeks in his head to threaten Kurt, Burt gets the whole story out of Kurt and enacts a little blue collar justice on Ham Hock.

In Sue’s office, we learn that Ham Hock is actually named David, but we’re not going to call him that here.  Kurt explains that Ham Hock threatened to kill him, Sue wastes no time in expelling him.  YAY SUE!

At the wedding venue, Santana helps Finn tie his clip-on tie (oh, Finn.) and tells him he’s losing all his cool points and being usurped by Chord Overstreet.  Of course Santana does not use the word ‘usurped’.  She says Finn would be all sorts of cool again if he told people they slept together.   Apparently Santana has a magic vagina, so, you know, good for her.  With great power comes great responsibility, Ms. Lopez, and don’t you forget it.

Finally, the wedding.  I could describe it in detail, but it can all be summed up in one word.  WHEEEEEEE!  If it didn’t tickle you to your very soul, I don’t think I want to know you.  Steamers! Burt and Carole danced down the aisle! Everyone loves Kurt!  I read some criticism of the couple praising the kids in the vows, but it’s two families getting married, not just two people.  I think it was sweet, and I am so not crying on my second watch.  You can’t prove anything.

Sue’s rehearsal is equally fun, but in a Sue way instead of a sweet Glee kid way.  First, she’s wearing a wedding dress styled to look like one of her track suits.   Second, Jean is there, and I love Jean.  Mama Sylvester makes it all about her and Sue kicks her out, realizing the only family she and Jean need are each other.  Aw.

The reception for Burt and Carole is loads of fun, and Finn finally steps up and acts like a decent human to Kurt, albeit in his own Frankenteen style.  There’s hope for you yet, Hudson. Mr. Schue sang “Sway” which was NOT, I repeat NOT, originally done by Michael Bublé.

Later on, back at school, Kurt has an announcement for the club.  Ham Hock got reinstated after a school board vote.   (Wanna know the real problem with public education? School boards. Glee is not my sole evidence in this hypothesis.)  Burt and Carole used their honeymoon money to enroll Kurt in Cute Boy Academy and Kurt will be transferring.

All in all, it was a sweet, happy episode with some great songs.  I give it a big, fat A.  Also, an image of Santa rippin’ it up on the guitar from iStock.

By [E] Selena MacIntosh*

Selena MacIntosh is the owner and editor of Persephone Magazine. She also fixes it when it breaks. She is fueled by Diet Coke, coffee with a lot of cream in it, and cat hair.

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