The title says it all. Medically speaking, there’s no “cure” for a hangover, but everyone knows a heavy dose of salt and carbs somehow works wonders by settling upset stomachs and pounding heads. Yeah, you could just go to the McDonald’s drive-thru and order a McMuffin, extra grease, but where’s the fun in that? Plus, are you sure you’re good to drive? Allow me, a sandwich-making expert who occasionally overshoots her drink limit, to guide you to the most ever-loving delicious, soothing, home-made sandwiches.
Massive Bacon Bagel
I have to start with this one, because it was my staple all through college. And it’s not what you think–I actually went to a school where we weren’t allowed to imbibe and being a little rules-follower, I complied. So how did I stumble across the bacon bagel at such a young, impressionable age?
One word: finals. I usually skipped breakfast, but if I had a killer test later in the day, I always went to the cafeteria and poured out two glasses of Diet Pepsi and then snagged as much bacon as I could (it was infamous for disappearing before breakfast was over). You probably don’t even need this basic ingredient list, but here goes:
-1 white bagel (don’t go whole-wheat; this isn’t the time to soothe your conscience)
-5 or more slices of bacon (again, ignore your conscience. Or tell it that bacon has been proven to improve, if not wholly cure, hangovers)
-whatever vegetables you can get your hands on. I like to do a classic BLT with tomato and lettuce, but if you have avocado that’s even richer and better.
If you’re really opposed to doing anything but assembling the sandwich, you can wrap the bacon in paper towels and microwave it. Toast the bagel and spread mayonnaise on both sides (this is crucial!). Layer on the bacon and whatever veggies you have–if you’re all out of greens, the stripped-down bacon bagel is still awesome.
Kimchi Steak Sandwich
I want to get drunk just so I can have an excuse to make this! This is basically like steak and eggs on a bun with a Korean twist–kimchi is a pickled cabbage, so it’s some relation to sauerkraut, but trust me when I say its spicy kick and relative lack of sour flavor makes it ten times better.
– hoagie roll (white, again!)
– leftover steak (or you could make it special for the occasion, but you probably won’t feel like it)
-a healthy helping of kimchi
-Sriracha sauce (if you like things extra spicy)
Broil the roll in the oven if it doesn’t fit in your toaster. Fry the egg to your taste (I like mine runny) and lay on one side of roll, then reheat steak, slice, and layer over egg. Top with as much kimchi and hot sauce as your heart desires, and dig in!
This combines all the classic flavors of breakfast–eggs, ham, cheese, toast–in one, portable package. If you want to make a real, fancy croque madame, this Rachel Ray recipe looks good, but be warned: it involves making a roux, so it’s probably best left for sober brunches, when you’re enjoying a mimosa sans guilt and searching for the nutmeg in the spice cabinet doesn’t make your burning eyeballs burn. My version is simple:
-two slices bread (ok, I guess you can use wheat)
-sliced deli or regular ham (in a pinch, you can sub deli turkey)
-your favorite cheese (Gruyere is the official French component, but cheddar or swiss or provolone work just as well).
-salt and pepper to taste
You can fry the egg and sandwich it with the ham and cheese between the bread, or even set it on top of the bread, but I prefer to make a “bunny in the hole.” You start by melting a generous pat of butter in a pan, tearing a small-ish hole out of one of the slices of bread, then placing the bread in the pan, and turning it so both sides are coated in butter. Then crack an egg in the hole, season with S&P, and let it cook until reasonably solid. Then you throw the ham, cheese, and last slice of bread on there, flip and cook until the cheese is melted, and voila!
Word to the wise: this is extremely rich, so best reserved for those hangovers that revolve involve mental fuzzies, not serious nausea. My husband and I invented this one day and we eat it even when we’re entirely sober; it’s that good.
-hoagie roll (white!)
-pepperoni (the turkey kind is healthy and tasty, btw)
-italian dressing and/or marinara sauce (I actually prefer just the Italian, but the marinara makes it more pizza-like)
-thinly sliced tomatoes and onions, if you’re feeling industrious
If you have all the ingredients on hand, this is a very easy sandwich to make. Just slice everything up and be sure to coat both sides of the roll generously in dressing or marinara or a combination of the two. If we’re being rather obsessive, I like to lay onions on one side of the bread and tomatoes on the other, then layer the cheese atop the tomatoes (very important! I like my cheese touching tomato at all times!), then ham, then done. We have a Panini press, which is probably our most-used kitchen appliance, but you can also broil it in the oven or cook it on the stovetop.
I haven’t tried this, but I think a breakfast reuben (sans sauerkraut, plus scrambled egg) might be really good too. Or it could be disgusting; that’s the fun of getting hungover and trying it out! What kind of foods do you like to indulge in to soothe a hangover?
*These images are all lifted from Flickr and not necessarily representative of what your individual sandwich will look like. Truthfully, this just seemed like a great excuse to post food porn.