Welcome to Installment One of my re-watching of Veronica Mars. This isn’t a re-watch for me as much as a “missed it the first time” scenario. Either way, Veronica Mars is my favorite bad-ass television lady (or teen) in recent memory.
The first episode of the first season sets the scene for Veronica Mars’ bad ass status as it opens on her soon-to-be BFF (and only friend) Wallace, new kid and school and Neptune High’s Token Black Student. Poor Wallace is duct-taped, pretty much naked, to the flagpole in the parking lot and “Snich” (sic) is sharpied across his chest. So Veronica Mars strolls on up and all these people are staring at Wallace and no one is going to cut him down, so she whips out a pocket knife and rescues him. Don’t get any ideas though, “˜shippers”¦nothing is ever going to happen between Wallace and Veronica. Anyway, that’s step number one for setting the tone for her being a bad-ass.
Next, we see her sleeping in class and the teacher calls on her to answer a question. Veronica recites the reading without hesitation and offers up some witty bon mot about it. Plucky, smart AND witty? Add on bad-ass points two and three.
Meanwhile, there are a bunch of Veronica Mars voice-overs going on. VM loves a good voice over by way of explanation. She has already explained to us that Neptune, the inexplicably sprawling fictional Southern California town where the show is set, is home to the very rich and the poor who are employed by the very rich. She explains that she and her father are private investigators. You probably already knew that since you’re watching the show, but still, pretty bad-ass.
Via voice over, Veronica Mars lets us know that she used to be popular because she was dating Duncan Kane who is the son of a tech billionaire, and she was best friends with his sister Lily. But, last year Lily was MURDERED!!! Veronica’s dad, Keith, was sheriff at the time and pinned it on Lily’s dad. Only it turns out he might have been wrong because some other guy confessed. So Keith was ousted as sheriff and that’s when he became a private investigator. Inexplicably, even though he is pretty much persona non grata in Neptune, enough people still trust him enough to be a PI that he can make a living. Veronica’s mom is AWOL, they don’t really explain it in this episode, but we know that she’s up to some shady business possibly involving Duncan Kane’s dad.
Anyway, Lily died and Duncan and Veronica broke up and that brings us to today, where Veronica no longer gives a shit so she cuts down new kids from flag poles. This is only in the first 15 or so minutes, and already you want Veronica Mars to be your best friend and be a crime-solving duo.
As the show moves on we learn that Weevil, Neptune High’s other brown student and Gangster Number One (and my favorite. Hearts and stars for Francis Capra xoxo) was responsible for duct taping Wallace to the flagpole because Wallace called the cops when Weevil and his gang were shoplifting at the convenience store where he works. No matter though because Weevil is my TV boyfriend and can do no wrong. Since Veronica doesn’t really give a shit about anything anymore, she and Weevil trade jabs and that’s how I fell in love with both of them. We also learn about Logan Echols who is the high schools King Douche Bag and son of an action movie star. Veronica describes Logan as “psychotic” although we don’t see him do anything particularly nutty aside from jumping around on the picnic tables outside. And not even Tom Cruise Oprah’s Couch jumping, just high school kid messing around jumping. But anyway, he’s obviously a dick.
A lot happens in this first episode as we’re introduced to all the characters, informed of the backstory, and learn about Veronica Mars’ bad-assery. We also see her work her first case when she decides to help New Friend Wallace from being taken down by Weevil and his gang. Veronica uses a bunch of her secret PI tools to film the Worst Detective in the World getting a blow job. She then replaces surveillance tape from Weevil’s shake down of the convenience store with the blow job video. Veronica saves the day! For both Weevil (<3) and Wallace! And for some reason the detective getting the beej never faces any consequences and is in the whole series. Neptune is super corrupt, guys!
Tune in next week when we learn who killed Lily Kane (just kidding, we won’t), and discuss why Weevil (<3) always gets the shaft, and wonder why electronic bugs are so popular in Neptune. Seriously, if you’re not being bugged you might as well leave town, cuz you’s a nobody!