The original premise of the post was supposed to be a guide to the best Holiday movies on Netflix Instant. Well, I guess you can thank me for doing the work for you because there are 3 (and some sort of Jane Seymour Christmas movie clip-show) and they all suck. I love Netflix Instant and I love schmaltzy Christmas movies, so the combination could be amazing. But Netflix really dropped the ball. Here’s what they have:
Nothing Like The Holidays – This 2008 “dark comedy” was in the theaters for about two seconds, if I remember. It stars John Leguizmo as a member of a Puerto Rican family who all get together for Christmas. Hilarity ensues! No, not really. They fight non-stop. It was grating. Netflix tells me I watched 52 of 98 minutes yesterday when I was trying to review it, which is way more than I thought I had.
A Christmas Too Many – Netflix says I managed to make it through 16 minutes of this movie, which was about 15 minutes too many. I have a high tolerance for mediocre acting, but an entire cast of people just making bitch face at each other was too much for me. In the reviews people are saying they only made it through 4 and 6 minutes. That’s how dedicated I am to making sure I give a thorough review to you all, that I was willing to watch a full 16 minutes.
A Christmas Tale – The French aren’t known for their uplifiting films and it seems that this one is probably no exception. I didn’t watch this because it seemed like it might be long and depressing.
So there you have it, the extent of all of the Christmas movies available on Netflix Instant. Pretty awesome, no? So where else can you get your fix for Holiday schmaltz?
Amazon has Holiday Central where you can stream a bunch of movies. A lot of them are only $0.99, so if you really want to see a certain movie but don’t want to wait for Netflix to send it, this is a good place to look.
My Go-Tos are always ABC Family, Hallmark Movie Channel, and Lifetime. They all play a bunch of Christmas movies all December. I made a little list of some upcoming good ones so you can set your DVR. I broke them down by Christmas movie genres.
Christmas Classics – This Saturday on ABC Family they are showing a bunch of the claymation and ’70s Christmas cartoons, including ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas about a mouse family that almost ruins Christmas for the people in the town they live in. It’s a
A Christmas Carol/Scrooge stories: A Carol Christmas. Donna Martin is a workaholic who hates Christmas until she hallucinates the ghosts of has-beens and loves Christmas again. Airs at 12 pm on December 20.
Improbably Holiday Romance – Stressed single parent falls in love with someone at Christmastime. They probably hate each other at first. In this genre we have Silver Bells, playing on Hallmark Movie Channel 12/16 at 12 pm. See also: Any of the holiday movies playing on Fa-la-la-la Lifetime. This is the most common holiday film genre.
Angels – My favorite genre is angels or Santa Clauses who live among the people. They don’t seem to be as plentiful this year. Three Days has Charlotte from Sex and the City who dies in a car accident on Christmas Eve, but an angel gives her husband 3 more days with her. It’s on ABC Family at 7 am Thursday.