I Will NEVER Regret This! & Other Tattoo Truisms

I stumbled across the Tumblr FuckYeahTattoos this morning and you can pretty much imagine how productive the rest of my day has been. There’s nothing more engrossing than looking at a good mixture of beautiful and horrible and ill-advised and completely inexplicable tats. But, you know me–I’m not here to show you the lovely, heart-breaking works, I’m here to point and laugh at the ones that their bearers will spend years trying to camouflage under grown-out body hair.

Stupidly Meta

For this to have even approached cool, the word "Tattoo" should have looked like real-person handwriting or maybe even little-kid handwriting, not Sailor Jerry font.
This is gutsy, but so why not just draw it on in permanent marker and pretend for a week?
If Kat Von D tattooed this Kat Van D tattoo, than I, sir, will eat my hat. And continue to laugh at you.

Examples of Couples Egging One Another On

I don't mean to rain on people's parades, but at the very least, one of you is going to die. And it's not like you stand next to one another all the time either. I mean, what happens if "Love" stands on the left?
So if you rub your ankles together do your legs open? That wasn't intended to sound dirty, I'm just trying to figure this all out.

Lyrics From Songs That Are Far Too Recent to Really Mean Anything to You

I left in the reference to the 18th birthday, because getting Temper Trap lyrics tattooed on your arm is just so very.
And here we have the Mumford & Sons version. Seriously, that band isn't, you know, Radiohead: they could just be a flash in the pan. Or you could never fall in love and all your fears could mutiply. THEN how will you feel, dude?

If You Have to Say “I Will Never Regret This,” You Are Lying to Yourself

I give this person 2.5 months before they're frantically googling "tattoo removal."
This is when you just get one of those signable Starbucks mugs or stuffed animals or you purposely break your arm so people can sign your cast. So you don't resort to this. So Benjamin doesn't spell his name "BenJAMMIN" on your foot.

The Surprisingly Indelible Nature of Crafting

I think a cooler tattoo would have been if the yarn was a snake and the needles were katana blades. Instead of just yarn and knitting needles. Jussayin'.
I can't lie: I actually think this is pretty badass.

People See You and Then Run In the Opposite Direction

I just weep for humanity.
If I was friends with this girl I'd be like, "It is mandatory for you to wear your hair down whenever there's a chance your back will be to me. Also, please swear to me you aren't Sauron."

Please Tell Me You Work for Pixar or Cartoon Network

Titanic made me cry like a baby but you don't see Leonardo DiCaprio's face on my knee, do you?!
Why is the red-haired one blonde? Are we human or are we dancer?

At Least It’s Small?

Somebody's fondest memories clearly involve eating early morning cereal and slurping blue-green milk out of the bowl.
There's Waldo! I found him! Guys, I know where Waldo is! Guys! Waldo!

Looks Like a Butthole, Dude

No disrespect intended, but really.

Too Badass to Snark


85 replies on “I Will NEVER Regret This! & Other Tattoo Truisms”

I can’t think of anything I like enough to get it tattooed on me forever, but that Waldo one is clever and will always be a conversation starter, for sure! Also fits under the “easy to cover” category, I’m pretty sure.

The butthole one only would have been awesome if it was Greendale Community College’s “E Pluribus Anus” flag – although yeah, still wouldn’t do that one on me, either.

Yeeessssss. I know exactly how you feel–I think it’s in part because I’ll probably never get a tattoo myself (I genuinely cannot think of any image or words I like enough to put on my body, but never say never) so I’m in awe of these people, their creativity, and, sometimes, their stupidity.

I actually debated putting the PPG in the “Too Badass to Snark” column, but Blossom’s hair pissed me off!

Also, I was writing this, I was worried that somehow one of these people would be a regular Persephone commenter/writer/editor. Particularly the Dr. Who tat.

I don’t have the link bookmarked, but one of the few couple tats I really liked was on Fuck Yeah Tattoos – one person got half an avocado with the pit inside, and the other person got half an avocado with a hollow in the center.

I love tattoos and follow Fuck Yeah Tattoos on Tumblr, and I’m always a little mystified by the people who proclaim that they’re not going to regret their ink. I sort of thought of that as a given – like, I recognize the possibility that the tattoos I have may not be as meaningful to me later in life as they are right now, but one of the reasons I chose them is because I think they’ll be somewhat timeless, and if I thought there was a good possibility that I’d regret them, I wouldn’t have gotten them.

Oooh, now I want to see pics of your tattoos! From I could see on FYT, most of the people saying “I won’t regret this” were being defensive, likely either because they already did regret or because so many people had said, “Dude, why do you have a bunch of signatures on your foot? That’s going to look terrible in a few years.”

I’m trying to think if I’ve ever seen an “I won’t regret this”-type disclaimer on a tattoo that I liked or thought was a good idea (not that my opinion about what a good tattoo is is universal or objective or anything), and I don’t think I have. And I’ve got pictures of two of the three of mine on my Tumblr, tagged with “tattoos” if you want to see them – I love them. :)

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