Polyvore for the Fashion Challenged

I once campaigned like Tracy Flick for a position with Polyvore.  Obviously, they did not choose me.  Meghan’s awesome Polyvore posts inspired me to end my own “why won’t you hire me, you bastards?” embargo against the terribly addictive site to pull out some of my own creations.

I am not what one would call stylish.  I am fairly reliably a homebody, so I rock very comfortable pants.   When I put effort into it, I pull on the well made yoga pants in a classy gray, when I’m not so much into effort my pants frequently have bold, obnoxious patterns all over them.  Like owls, or gnomes or frogs.  This collection sums up my whole style philosophy.

Early Morning (or all day) Peace and Quiet

I am a huge fan of collage, I can turn cut up magazine pictures into some interesting, if not always pretty, crap to look at. Polyvore was like crack to me, if I weren’t on a deadline I would totally be making collages all day today. Here’s a ensemble for your willowy twee cousin in Brooklyn:

Saturdays at the Twee Market

I can work with a classic, which is probably why they’re called classic. Here’s a job interview outfit which is completely inappropriate for winter, but would work well in Spring or Fall of any year, with a few updated accessories.

First Impressions

I wore something identical to this to a formal dance in 1993. I found it at a vintage store, and it was labeled “Big girl dress.” I swallowed my pride and spent the five dollars for a very structured, hand embroidered shift from around 1955-1960 that was a total shout out to the twenties. If I had owned these shoes, I would have blown the transformer at the Shriner’s lodge with my fabulousness.

Rouge Your Knees and Roll Your Stockings Down

O, were I ten years younger.

The Cutest Girl at ComiCon

Last but not least, these types of polyblogs were really popular when I was working my inner Mary Tyler Moore to get the job. I really like how this one looks.

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery