Polyvore Outfits for the Month of Suck: Movies, Arts n’ Crafts, Bloggin’

Alright, we’ve established that January is not actually the worst month ever for everyone on the planet, but I thought we’d stick with that theme for this week’s Polyvore round-up and address what you can do when you’re feeling blue (besides listening to “Downtown” over and over again). Oh, and what you can wear!

1. Going to the Movies by Yourself

I have an irrational love for seeing movies solo, which began during the summer after my freshman year in college, when I worked at Baskin Robbins and had very few friends. (“But don’t people who serve ice cream for a living, by definition, have a lot of friends?,” you say. My reply: “No, not unless you’re willing to give everyone, even whiney strangers, extra scoops.”)

When I’m feeling anxious or depressed or like building a pillow fort in my closet surrounded by a quicksand desert of blankets, seeing a movie is an appealing option because it gets me out of the house, while still allowing me to do something fairly passive and relaxing.

On to the clothes: You may have noticed I have a fashion-crush on Alexander McQueen (grey cardigan,$1,677). What attracted me most to that sweater (and it’s hard to see on here), is its  tweed print and those white splotches, which are actually a top layer of moth-eaten-looking, distressed holes. I think that’s the most awful-sounding sentence I’ve ever typed, but just look at it on Net-a-Porter; it’s lovely.

The striped cardigan is Marc Jacobs ($259, so like 7,000% less expensive than the McQueen, but still pricey), and yes, that’s a giant clothespin on the front that we can only hope is removable. I picked long, wrap sweaters because it’s of tantamount importance to be warm in frequently-cold theaters, not to mention comfortable.

Speaking of comfort, that’s why the Naturalizers and Keds. Does anyone else always have to go to the bathroom in movies? I do, even when I don’t have anything to drink with me, and I think it’s purely psychological by now, but it’s nice to have comfortable shoes that won’t squeak when you try to sneak out during a non-pivotal scene.

The two giant totes are to stash all the snacks that you a) can’t get at the theater or b) don’t want to pay a ransom for at the theater. And Your Movie Sucks is for related reading material if you get to the theater early. I love Roger Ebert–check out his review of Deuce Bigelow II, utilizing the imperious phrase, “As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize…”

And I’m sorry if punk rocker Hello Kitty ($65) is making your eyes bleed but I have a soft spot for SanRio. Between the two bags, I definitely favor the Marc Jacobs, but isn’t $240 a lot for a canvas tote?

And in the age of cell phones, you probably don’t need a watch (La Mer Collections, $65) to obsessively check to see why no one’s even up in the projection room yet when the movie was supposed to start 2 minutes ago, but this one’s pretty.

Oh, P.S.: Those are jeggings (AG Jeans, $245), the stretch of which I find myself desperately attracted to.

2. Reading Blogs and Updating Your Tumblr

Sometimes it’s a good day to flit about, but often it’s a better to stay home and…..read the internets!!! My favorite. Again, comfort is king, and I probably don’t need to tell you what types of sweatshirts and sweatpants to wear or what mug to fill with black coffee, but here goes:

The sweatshirt in the middle says “OWNED by an Alaskan Malamute,” because really, who isn’t? I don’t even have a dog, of any kind, but Malamutes are so fierce that they likely OWN me anyway. And at $25, that sweatshirt’s a steal. The “SAVE FERRIS” one ($45) and TMNT one ($49) came in tied for second place.

Ok, before we go on, a mini-rant: What is up with American Eagle and VS Pink sweat-wear? I had to wade through literally pages and pages of that stuff to find anything that wasn’t bejazzled across the butt or emblazoned across the breast (in a non-Malamute kind of obnoxious way, I mean). So readers, know this: my eyes bled for you.

Moving on: the Garfield pants (no price/priceless) are really ugly, but when you think about it, he’s the misanthrope of the comics page and you/I are misanthropes on the internet, so it’s fitting, no? And I only included those grey Thakoon sweatpants so I could type: WHO, WHO, WHO pays $450 for sweatpants? For ANYthing with “sweat” in the title?! Michelle Obama likes Thakoon and I like Thakoon’s other stuff, but I really hope, for all of our sakes, she doesn’t own these sweatpants.

Concerning mugs: I wanted to use one of Persephone’s (no, I’m not above blatant self-promotion), but sometimes Polyvore’s Clip tool gets confused by zooming features on product pictures, so that was a no go. But the “No Shit, Sherlock” mug ($17) is an ok substitute, right?

Concerning the pink snoballs: Best. Hostess. Snack. Ever. These were like the ultimate prize in the mystery grab bag of Hostess products you used to be able to pick up at the check-out of Wonder Bread stores (do those even exist anymore?).

Concerning David Tennant: No, that is not really him, nor do I have the power to deliver him to you. However, his cardboard cut-out can peer over your shoulder while you upload macros of him to Tumblr, for a mere $29.95.

3. Fulfilling Your Artistic Dreams – Or, Just Paintin’ a Picture

This last suggestion could come off hokey, but it was this or tell you to just suck it up and go play in the snow/rain/sleet/icestorm (and clipping pictures of all snow gear is not fun). When I’m feeling really down, like down to the point of questioning whether I’m contributing anything to the world or whether I even have anything worthy of contribution, taking a time out to create for a little bit really helps. In my case, because I write a lot all day, I don’t usually break out the quill and ink–instead, I just doodle or draw patterns.

So below is a big smorgasbord of visual suggestions of fun, artsy activities–playing music, taking photographs, drawing, painting, writing, crafting jewelry, etc.

One thing I would like to get back into, which I haven’t done in years, is to braid bracelets or string beads. I used to freak out for that kind of thing–I had one of those bead-makers where you roll and glue strips of paper into conical beads, a mini-mini-loom (it made inch-thick bracelets), the Klutz hemp-braiding book, and a set of “invisible” string (read: fish line) to make invisible jewelry.

You don’t have to be good at what you’re doing (for example, I am so bad at arts and crafts that my own mother never even pretended I had any talent) and you don’t have to master any arts or display your work or even show it to anyone at all–it’s just for fun, no pressure.

Oh, but you do have to wear a big, flowing caftan (Ikat, $195) and one of these four berets (Heidi Seeker, $14):