A Weevil-centric episode! My faaaavorite! <3 What antics has Weevil gotten into this time? Oh, just a high stakes (in my opinion) poker game with Logan, Duncan and a couple other 09er-bots. Say wha-? The episode starts off with Weevil totally kicking the ass of the HAL 09ers that he’s playing with and winning the pot of $5,000. Only, what’s this? The money is gone! Oh, boys, you should know better than to screw Weevil out of five grand. Who took it? It had to have been one of the boys playing the game, but even a strip search conducted by my man Weevil (who can strip search me anytime) turns up nothing. And that’s our Mystery Of The Week!But…why does Veronica care? Oh, just because Weevil is stealing from each of the 09er-bots in retaliation, including Duncan’s computer. The computer that had his personal journal, where he had written about Veronica. V, terrified about what kind of information could get out about her and her potential half-brother, springs into action so that Weevil will return the computer to Duncan. Meanwhile, Weevil already jacked a Faberge egg from the Echolls house, I don’t know about all that fancy livin’, but that’s gotta be worth more than $5,000, right? But, if we know nothing about Weevil it’s that he appreciates honor (<3 <3). So, VM is on the case!
Papa Mars’ Mystery Of The Week involves Lynn Echolls, who comes to him to investigate threatening letters that her husband has been receiving. Lynn Echolls says that Aaron has destroyed most of the letters but that she’s tried to keep them for evidence. My prime suspect? Lisa Rinna’s lips are seeking revenge. But, I’m no detective.
So, how did Weevil end up part of this poker game in the first place? He invited himself of course! Logan thought that Weevil would be an easy mark, you’d think he would know better after their Breakfast Club bonding sesh. My favorite line of this episode is from Weevil, talking to Logan about going to his house: “You’re concerned? I’m the one who’s gotta go up into the hills, all by myself. What if I run into a pack of you white boys, eh, on some clean, well lit street. I could be bored to death.” I knew I liked Weevil, he knows that the worst thing about the 09ers is that they are all Stepford Rich Kids. Snooze-orama. Fun fact: I read somewhere on the internet (so, grain of salt) that Duncan always wears blue and Logan always wears green because they were afraid that they looked too similar and people would get them confused.
Flashbacks are the name of the game in this episode as Veronica goes from player to player getting their stories about what happened during the poker game. Besides Logan, Duncan and Weevil the game included Connor who is an actor and Sean who lives in the most expensive house in Neptune and is driven to school by a chauffeur. The flashbacks show Duncan acting wasted, Connor suspiciously getting up to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes, Sean acting like a jerk and a cheapskate and Weevil looking adorable. Through her interviews, Veronica of course figures out who the culprit is, but because she’s Veronica she doesn’t just come out and say it. Instead she tells the guys that they need to have another poker game, she’ll reveal who stole the money and then take that person’s place in the game. I don’t know how these guys don’t know they’re totally being conned. Of course V is totally going to clean them out in poker. She wants the money to send her dad to a fantasy baseball camp, which is kind of sweet (and incidentally costs almost as much as what they were going to use to get out of their apartment. I guess they gave up on that pipe dream.) So who was the thief?! Sean! The kid who lives in the most expensive house in Neptune? Ah yes, the operative word being LIVES in. Turns out his dad is the butler and he stole the money because he loves stealing and needs to play the part of Richie Rich. How none of the other 09ers know that Sean is not rich is something you have to suspend disbelief for. So Sean gets unceremoniously kicked out of the game and V Money cleans out the rest of the guys.
So this poker game is going to be held the night of the Echolls’ annual Christmas party, which Keith has warned Lynn not to have after a pumpkin carved in the likeness of Aaron with a knife through the forehead was delivered to the Echolls’ front door. But it’s all about keeping up appearances for the Echolls fam, so of course the show must go on. Keith d0es some digging to find out who might have a grudge against Aaron, besides everyone and it turns out that it’s … everyone. Surprise, surprise, Aaron Echolls has slept with every woman in Neptune (foreshadowing!) because he’s a super creep. This includes everyone from the wealthy women in The Industry, to waitresses at the catered parties he attends. Welllp, turns out one of the waitresses he had slept with caught him having sex with ANOTHER woman and I guess was pissed off enough to want to kill him. So she stabs him at the Christmas party while everyone watches carolers outside under fake falling snow. I know you’re worried, but he survives.
The real climax of this episode though comes right before Aaron is stabbed, when Veronica confronts Jake Kane and accuses him of having his head of security track her, photograph her, and send the pictures to her mom. Jake screams that he doesn’t know anything about that, which seems pretty convincing even if Veronica isn’t buying it. But right before the stabbing, Jake grabs Celeste and asks her what she did. Hmm. It looks like Jake really wasn’t behind Veronica being stalked. Why would Celeste have done it? Jealousy over the past and/or present relationship between her husband and Veronica’s mom? A twisted attempt to get Veronica and Duncan to break up so that her son wouldn’t be schtupping his half-sister? Something else entirely? Will we find out next week? No! But we will find out … eventually. See you next week!