Public Service

Let’s Talk Sex: This Station is Self-Serve Only.

Tuesday we talked about pleasure and the first time we found out about it. Today, let’s expand on that topic and make things a little more personal: Masturbation.

When did you first start masturbating? How did you come to discover this happy activity?

I happen to know people who don’t masturbate and never have. To this I say: what? I kid, no judgment here. Nonetheless, I notice that while we can talk about sex and getting it on for hours with friends, as soon as the word “masturbate” is brought up the room goes eerily quiet. We can talk about doing it with other people, but when it comes to pleasing ourselves we clam right up. Ridiculous, I say. I first learned about masturbation from a copy of Seventeen, I believe, once again stolen from my big sister. It even outlined how to masturbate (good techniques and whatnot). I was shocked. I can do what to myself? And it feels like that? And I don’t have to wait until I’m older and over my extreme body insecurities to orgasm? Rejoice! Since that day, it’s been happy time for Ginger Gal all the time.

10 replies on “Let’s Talk Sex: This Station is Self-Serve Only.”

When I was in middle school, possibly earlier, I humped the hell out of my dino-pillow, pretending he was my husband. It started to feel really good! And then I actually thought, to myself, “Gee, I don’t think I’m supposed to feel things like this. I think I’m supposed to save them for marriage.” Yep. So I stopped. I tried again a week later or so, but couldn’t get it to feel that way again.

I didn’t try masturbating again until college, when the campus feminists found me and I started wanting these magical orgasms the women around me were claiming as a right. I ordered any number of toys online, tried all manner of self-rubbing, eventually recruited the help of a boyfriend…Never had an orgasm. Every now and then I’d try again, do the whole lingerie and wine for myself thing, never did much for me.

Finally, after I lost the boyfriend, I bought a Magic Wand as a birthday present to myself. That thing had me crying to the heavens (and pissing all over myself) within seconds. I learned to put a towel down. I spent a lot of afternoons catching up for lost time. I’d watch NCIS and see how many times I could get off on the commercial breaks.

Since then I’ll break it out a few times one week, maybe forget about it for a week, maybe overdo it for a while and have to put it away for a bit. Sadly, nothing else has ever worked for me, but I’m glad that something finally did.

Whew, as long as I can remember I guess? I know my parents had a “personal massager” and I frequently stole it and used it on myself. Granted I hadn’t been told what an orgasm was or anything so I had no idea, and I do recall being 6 years old and masturbating with that massager.

I think that having been in dance class for my entire youth encouraged me to explore my body. I know it sometimes felt nice to brush the floor in a straddle stretch, and that was when I was a little kid and didn’t know what was going on down there.

It wasn’t until I was 14 and in the midst of lots of livejournal perusing that I found someone’s erotic short stories and I was like “WHAT ARE ALL THESE FEELINGS I’M HAVING.. DOWN THERE?” And it’s been all downhill from there (in a good downhill way.. because walking downhill is easy.)
I only ever knew one other girl in high school who talked about masturbating, and even then we talked about it like we were doing something kind of wrong. Surprisingly, now that I think about it, the only people I’ve been open with about my masturbation is guys who I’ve had sex with. I never talk to other women about it. Strange. I wish we were all more open about it.

I was four and discovered that wrapping my legs around my homesitter’s ottoman felt good. It had thick legs. She told my mom who then interrogated me at home. All sexual feelings were bad and she deemed this activity “bad habit”. Didn’t learn the real term until elementary school when a neighborhood kid passed around a sex ed book. OH.

Still learning about it.

I have no recollection of discovering masturbation, but I know I started doing it by age 4 because that was when a girl in my preschool class got in trouble for touching herself in the playroom and I was glad that I’d never done that there.

By the time I began having sex with other people, I’d been giving myself multiple orgasms for a good 15 years or so (though I had NO idea that was what they were, even once I knew what orgasms were, because they weren’t like how I’d heard them described in romance novels). I made my partner-sex debut a bit later than many people and I can’t imagine what I would have done with all of that sexual energy and frustration if I hadn’t masturbated. Now, I adore sex with my partner and find it extremely satisfying, but I also think it’s really important to maintain that sexual relationship you have with yourself even when you have one with someone else, or at least it’s important to me.

I literally have no memory of “discovering” masturbation. It just was there. I knew it was something that we did in “private time” and that I liked it. Some how I discovered that the back massager felt really good down there. I’d like to hope that my parents thought I had a bad back when I was 11 but… they’re not stupid.

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