So who watched some football last night? Well, OK, who watched an hour long game of football punctuated by 27 commercial breaks from kick-off to final down? I did! And if you didn’t but you still want to know what happened during the ads, stay here: I’ve got the Best and Worst 3 ads of the night and a list of all the ads in order of appearance. Let’s get cookin’:
Volkswagen ““ The Force. A small child dressed as Darth Vader tries to use the force on a dog, a baby doll, a washing machine, an elliptical trainer, and finally, on their father’s car. The dad plays along and the kid is really stoked about using the force. I don’t even care for Star Wars and I find it adorable. Best part (and maybe I’m reading too much into this) but the room they show is a girl’s room (using standard gender stereotypes) but the commercial shows no other children, so I assume that that’s little Darth’s room and that Darth is a girl. How adorable (minus the troubling idea that she will grow up to be a force of evil).
Bridgestone ““ Carma. Call me a softie but whenever I see people rewarded for saving the lives of forest creatures, my heart swells two sizes. It was a tidy story that showed us all what it means to be a part of this entangled ecosystem we call “earth.” Or whatever.
Doritos ““ House sitting. A roommate is so into Doritos that he neglects his roommate’s living things (fish, plant). Fortunately, Doritos are both the cause of the problem and the solution. OK, it’s not like this is comedy gold or anything, but this commercial really speaks to the target demographic (college students, stoners, Liz-Lemon-esque people who feel the need to munch on cheez product at all times) and it keeps its product in frame at all times. Were there better commercials? Sure. But I can’t remember what they’re selling.
Worst 3: Hall of Shame
Groupon.com ““ Tibet. This is by far the worst commercial of the night. By far. I don’t think there are words, but I’ll try. They start off talking about how Tibet is beautiful but in trouble but oh LOLZ they can still make a good fish curry which you can buy for cheap in a restaurant in Chicago thanks to Groupon! Oh man, and at one point they pan down this man who is wearing what we’re led to believe is traditional garb only to have him turn out to be a waiter serving the asshole who is making all these dismissive, terrible statements. Yeah. No. Awful. So awful.
Cars.com ““ The Reviews are In. Nothing like some sexual harassment in the workplace to make for some hiiii-larious jokes! Come on, ladies! We just want to talk about how you look topless and suggest you try out our smooth ride! Totally appropriate and not sexist. AND! At the end, there’s a bit where one couple says something about a black/gray mini-van having a large rear, which upsets the van. Yeah. I don’t even know.
Pepsi Max- Love Hurts and Pepsi Max ““ First Date. First, they use the angry black woman stereotype and have her accidentally attack a white woman with a soda can after her husband ogles the white woman (yeah let’s reinforce that beauty ideal hierarchy). Then, they have a man think about nothing but sex on a first date and a woman think about his money. Basically, Pepsi is using insulting representations of both men and women to the extent that it just really pushes me over the edge. There is NOTHING, to salvage from these commercials. That’s it. I am sticking with Coke products.
What did you think? Any you loved? Any you hated? Any you wish that dude in the cubicle next to yours would stop quoting?
(All ads in order, click through for video: Budweiser ““ Hack Job, Doritos ““Pug Attack, Audi- Release the hounds, Doritos ““The Best Part, Chevy Cruze ““ Misunderstanding, Pepsi Max- Love Hurts , Bud Light – Product placement, Chevy Silverado ““ Tommy, Fast Five movie, Pepsi Max ““ Torpedo Cooler, Doritos ““ House sitting, Hyundai Elantra ““ Hypnotize, Cowboys and Aliens movie, Kia Optima ““ One Epic Ride, Brisk ““ Eminem commercial, Bridgestone ““ Reply All, Chevy Volt ““ Discovery, New Go Daddy.co Girl, Budweiser ““ Wild West, Teleflora ““ Help me Faith, Transformers movie, BMW X3: Defying Logic, Motorola ““ Empower the People, BMW Advanced Diesel ““ Changes, Coca-Cola ““ Seige, Thor movie, Volkswagen ““ The Force, Snickers ““ Logging, Careerbuilder.com ““ Parking Lot, Super 8 movie, Chevy Cruze ““ Status, Captain America movie, Castrol Edge replay, Carmax ““ Kid in a Candy Store, Android ““ Play, Acura ““ Sports car/wagon, Dodge Ram, Chatter.com ““ Halftime 1, Chatter.com ““ Halftime 2,
Chevy ““ Eco-friendly, X finity from Comcast, Chase Bank ““ Quick deposit, The Daily, Cars.com ““ Go First, E-trade ““ Tailor, Best Buy with Ozzie and Justin Bieber, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Mini USA ““ Cram it in the boot, Homeaway.com ““ Test Baby, Hyundai Elantra ““ Deprogramming, Groupon.com ““ Tibet, Coca-cola ““ Border, Stella Artois ““ Crying Jean, Carmax ““ Gas Station, Chrysler Eminem ““ Imported from Detroit, NFL ““ American Family, Jack in the Box ““ I love America, Cadillac, Rango movie, Cars.com ““ The Reviews are In, Bud Light ““ Dog sitter, Hyundai ““ Anachronistic city, Pepsi Max ““ First Date, Rio the movie, Bridgestone ““ Carma, Go Daddy ““ The Contract, Volkswagen ““ Black Beetle, Mercedes Benz ““ Welcome, Camero ““ Miss Evelyn, Apple/Verizon, Limitless movie, Sketchers with Kim Kardashian.)
Image Credit from MorgueFile