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TDG and Open Thread- 2/15

Good Morning, Good Morning Persephoneers!

Welcome to day two of the new format; starting this week the Daily Goodie doubles as an all-day open thread, and new content starts at noon.

Today’s a big day here at Persephone headquarters – our own Teri Floyd is being cross posted at MSNBC this morning. If you haven’t read her very informative and descriptive  article on synesthesia, you should go read it.

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Raise your hand if you have candy left from yesterday “¦

68 replies on “TDG and Open Thread- 2/15”

Haha, ok, if I manage to finish the first one without coming to the conclusion that it was the stupidest idea ever, I’ll make a second one for you! Pinkyswear!

Disclaimer: I still haven’t finished the cross-stitch project that I started for my future cousin when my aunt told me she was pregnant. It was a teddy bear driving a convertible and waving his paw. I managed to do a bit of the sky, the paw and one ear before I got bored of it and left it for later. Said “future cousin” is now sixteen years old, and still cross-stitch-teddy-bear-less.

The sun is out! It may be 15 degrees but THE SUN IS OUT! That’s enough to make my day a good one. The fact that Cute Boy and I have been texting all day, and that I have tonight off, are two more reasons to love February 15 2011.
(mind you, getting out of bed was a huge struggle and I’m really excited to be done with class for the day so I can go home and put sweatpants on, but still! I’m working my ass off to be happy right now!)

From now on, whenever I go to any doctor, I’m announcing my plans to get pregnant. Those are the magic words that seemed to get me decent care this morning.

Seriously. I went in for a problem this morning and my PCP was already going into the “keep an eye on it/call if it gets worse or doesn’t stop” spiel. Then I said, “Mr. Cupcake and I are gonna try to get pregnant this summer or fall.”(which is true). Suddenly, I had orders for blood work and a referral to the gyno.

This day sucks! I’ve already been up for 12 hours and I’ve only accomplished a third of what I’m supposed to do before tomorrow. I was late for class, my students were completely unmotivated, and I’ve just discovered that my jeans have ripped apart at the seam near the crotch area and I’m praying that it happened after class – i.e., after I climbed on a chair and bent over to open a window in front of twenty students.

On the positive side, I’m having a gigantic feta lahmacun for lunch and I broke my writers’ block this morning, yay!

How are everybody’s days shaping up?

I have the LARGEST cookie in the office fridge right now. I only got through a quarter of it yesterday (okay, maybe a fifth). I am so stoked. :)

My girlfriends are going to Target today to stock up on candy hearts. They are so smart.

Aaaand, I don’t have Jury Duty! My services are no longer required! Ha Za! It’s already a good day.

So, I might have a problem. I live with my boyfriend of two years who I love with all my heart. However, he doesn’t ever pay any attention to me anymore. He’s busy riding his bicycle and being a grad student (physics). He doesn’t even have any interested in sexy times anymore which makes me :( However, there is this guy at work that thinks I’m hot and he makes me laugh and seems genuinely interested in my day/life. It’s so nice to have someone pay attention to me, I just wish it was my boyfriend.

I’ve told work guy that I’m not ready to throw in the towel on my relationship anytime soon because I’ve made a serious emotional commitment to my boyfriend.

How do I still enjoy work friend’s company without having this stupid crush on him?

I’ve thought about talking to the boyfriend but here’s the situation on that. We live in student housing so our rent is extremely cheap, extremely. I’m starting massage therapy school at the beginning of next month. I can’t afford to go if I live on my own because my rent would be entirely too expensive.

I’m terrified that if I lay all my feelings out on the table and he confirms that he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore then I’ll have to move out and I won’t ever be able to afford to go to school and get out of my shitty dead end job.

So as much as I WANT to lay it all out on the table and try to fix things I’m afraid it will go horribly wrong and I’ll end up not only emotionally fucked but also my future will be fucked.

Having been in those shoes, talk to him anyway. It sucks, but it’s not going to be better if you’re in a shitty relationship trying to hold that together and also trying to learn new things. It sucks to be stuck, but unless he’s an utterly unreasonable human being (in which case you should probably be looking for other options anyway, right?) he’ll talk it through with you and you’ll figure something out that can work for both of you.

The path you’re on is a painful one, no matter which way it goes, but it’s like a bad tooth–you can get it taken care of and start healing (whether by removal or by repair) or you can let things keep festering until it metaphorically kills you.

This is coming from someone who ended an engagement (we’d been living together for 18 months) and it SUCKS. Thinking about it sucks. Confronting the problems that are making you think about it sucks. But it sucks way less than living with it and trying to stay happy when you’re just not.

There’s no perfect answer, unfortunately, but your problem isn’t the crush you have on your coworker.

@chryster I have only been successful at getting over crushes when I spend some time apart from the person. A few years ago I tried to go right back to being friends with somebody I’d been involved with after he ended things, and I realized that I’d never get over him if we kept hanging out all the time. I’m not sure how much of an option that is since you work together, but I might try minimizing the amount of time you spend together if you can. Have you talked to your boyfriend about how you’re feeling neglected? (I would feel that way too.)

I’ve thought of telling work guy that we need to quit hanging out so much but that makes me sad because I really don’t have any friends here and it’s just so nice having someone to talk about life to.

I do think not hanging out anymore is going to end up being the solution here and that makes me extremely sad.

It sounds like some of this is not necessarily about the other guy, but about the fact that you’re not getting the affection/attention you need from your boyfriend AND that other guy is the primary source of friendship for you. If there were ways to get out and widen your circle somewhat, it might not feel like so much was wrapped up in this one other person who “gets you.”

For what it’s worth, I think you really should have a conversation with your boyfriend about this. You don’t have to lay it all out there on the line, but it doesn’t sound like it’s a problem that’s going to go away even if your crush on other guy does. You shouldn’t feel forced to stay in a relationship that’s not working just because of housing. You deserve to be able to work out your problems, or figure something else out independent of this other guy.

Start by making sure your current partner knows you feel abandoned. If you aren’t having your needs met and there’s more he could reasonably be doing (understanding that he has a lot going on, too), then it needs to be on the table that you’re feeling like this. The relationship needs effort from both of you if it’s going to survive, and part of that is emotional availability from both people.

In the meantime, attention from your coworker is going to be filling a space your boyfriend can’t, and since you already have feelings for him, that can be risky. The problem here is not that two people of opposite sex can’t be friends, by any means, but that you’ve already admitted to having feelings for him that you’re uncomfortable with. Little crushes on other people happen, and it’s ok, but it seems clear to me that this particular crush is evolving out of your feelings of being ignored by your boyfriend.

Figure out what’s going on with your partner, and how you’re going to fix it (or not). The question about the other guy will probably resolve itself around the outcome at home.

If all goes as scheduled, Persephone is getting a new contributor tonight–me! I’m super-excited! I’m going to be doing a weekly medical Q&A, answering all manner of questions about medications, diseases, and that sort of thing–I might even through in the occasional rant about the sorry state of medicine and politics in the United States, although I’ll try to keep from talking your ears off. Keep an eye out tonight for it, and start thinking of questions you’re too embarrassed to ask your doctor about for me!

Ooooh, that’s exciting! Definitely hear you on the ranting about medicine. I’ve been in pain for 4 months, had a diagnosis for a while, but the other specialist did all the tests and was like “Nope, it’s definitely a misdiagnosis.” Really can’t afford all the tests and crap (thank goodness I actually do have insurance, and my parents are helping me out.)

Hooray for you and your bike! I won’t bike around where I live until the snow melts (because there’s no shoulder on the road, and I don’t trust drivers to not be idiots), so I’ll just be jealous of you and your biking!

That is a very pretty shiny bike.

Mornin’ kids!
So I supposedly have a visitor coming on Thursday… of the male and theoretically romantic variety. Problem is, I haven’t talked to him for… probably close to a week, and I have no idea whether he has a ticket to visit or not. The friend I met him through, however, told me that Visitor bought his ticket a couple months ago and is coming! I’m still not sure if I believe it, though. You know how some people have such good intentions but crappy follow-through? I have a feeling that’s what this situation is. But I guess I’ll know Thursday, for sure!

You guys, ugh. One of my good college friends who I don’t see much anymore because she lives on the other side of the country called me at midnight my time last night after polishing off a whole bottle of wine herself because she kicked her husband out/he left (depending on who you hear tell the story). My God, it is so bad and I feel awful for her that I can’t do anything.

It’s just so hard because she’s so far away. A 9pm phone call after putting the little one to bed and hitting a bottle of wine is midnight on the east coast, and it’s hard. I wish she were here so I could actually be there for her (and keep her from cracking open another bottle). She moved out there because of his job, and I am even more angry toward him because of that. Not only is he a childish asshole, he’s a childish asshole who’s moved her away from her whole family. Not that she doesn’t have west coast friend, but it’s not like I can just take a day off work and hop in the car; it’s way more difficult.

oh that just stinks. I hate it when a friend calls in crisis and there’s nothing you can really do….of course, she probably does need someone to just listen. And the time difference thing is SUCH a killer – I have the hardest time getting a hold of an LA friend because of it. Ugh. One bottle of wine one night isn’t a huge deal, but more than once in a blue moon and it becomes a problem. Fingers crossed she wakes up today, pops some Advil and has a grip on what to do next!

Good morning Sepheneers. A mini-poll:

I’ve got to go to a formal wedding and I live in a place where you can’t buy nice dresses, so I have to have one made. I’d like something that offers a nice, elegant silhouette; nothing goofy or Gagaesque. I was looking over the Grammy gowns with dismay just now and wondered whether anyone has a dress that’s caught their eye recently that would offer good inspiration.

Whoooo I figured out how to share a Dropbox gallery! I save images of dresses that I really like, and there’s a huge variety on my computer… here are a few of them that have a pretty good variety of styles. If you hover over the opened picture, most of them will tell you what it’s from (i.e. the designer or who wore it when) since that’s how I name my files. I did download a few this morning from a Google search that didn’t give me that info, so there are a few that are missing it.

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