Tonight’s Witty Gentleman comes to us by way of Rosa, and you’re going to have lots of fun with him. Find out all his secret answers after the break.
1. You’ve been given the power to invent a new ice cream flavor, what is it and why?
I have the power to invent a new ice cream flavor. I think we all have that power, but we just don’t use it. I think once I look inside myself and find the power within, I’ll let you know. Probably something with peanut butter.
2. You’re chosen to remake any movie originally made between 1975-1990. What movie do you remake an how do you cast it?
Troll 2, because it deserves a remake. With the original cast, but this time, it’s personal.
3. What terrible song gets stuck in your head?
That “Dynamite” song that’s always on the radio. Only because imagine the line is “I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, Galileo” because the idea of an pop R&B singer throwing his hands in the air lamenting 17th century astronomers is hilarious to me and needs to be included in more pop music.
4. Tell us about a woman who has been influential in your life.
Rosa Sparks. Because she’s awesome. Also, my best friend Holly, because she’s awesome as well.
5. What’s your favorite joke?
My real favorite joke is too long to recite here (The “Fuck you, clown” joke, if I can find the link to where I tell it on my Tumblr, I’ll send it to you), so I’ll keep it short with “Two muffins are baking in an oven and one says to the other ‘man, it’s like a sauna in here’ and the other one replies ‘HOLY SHIT, A TALKING MUFFIN!'”
6. A band is now following you around performing your personal soundtrack wherever you go, who are they, and what are they playing?
Murder By Death, and right now they’re playing “You Are The Last Dragon (You Possess The Power of The Glow)” because I possess the power of ice cream flavoring. And I’ve really been feeling that jam lately.
7. Mad libs question! Give me the following:
Body part: poophole
Food: poop sandwich
Celebrity: Sarah Palin
Put all together:
My poopy poophole has been compared to a pooplike poop sandwich. Sarah Palin poops pooply, but I poop poopily.
(ed note: Subject L, you totally did that so I would have to type that sentence, didn’t you? I can’t help but respect that.)