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It’s the Weekend Open Thread!

And it’s about five hours early!  We’ve eaten our way through another server, and we have to move to a bigger one.  In like 24 hours.  So.  Open thread!

There may be times over the weekend when you can’t get on here, don’t panic! We’ll be back at 100% by Monday, and hopefully won’t be down more than an hour or so total.  (Please to knock wood, throw salt over your shoulder, cross your fingers, pray, what have you.)  I’m going to do the move in the middle of the night when we’re at our slowest, but there may be snafus.  There are usually snafus, but I haven’t hit one I couldn’t solve or work around yet.  (Knock more wood.)

Middlemarch voting will close at 6pm, EST, or an hour after this thread opens, and I’ll share the results on Monday.

Now get to chatting, why don’t ya?

By [E] Selena MacIntosh*

Selena MacIntosh is the owner and editor of Persephone Magazine. She also fixes it when it breaks. She is fueled by Diet Coke, coffee with a lot of cream in it, and cat hair.

235 replies on “It’s the Weekend Open Thread!”

Hello, Monday!

I have an evening meeting that will run pretty late tonight and ended up getting roped into four hours of a town hall meeting this Saturday (prep, excruciating meeting, and cleanup), so I planned to come in an hour and a half late this morning. I had a stack of stuff two inches high in my box and 37 new e-mails.

I don’t even know what the hell they’re going to do when I go visit my grandparents for five whole days later this month.

I’m so pissed you guys. Sorry, may I rant for a bit? I live in criminal run Illinois and I fucking can’t stand the tax increases. Both at the state and federal levels. We have ridiculous sales and food taxes where I live as it is, plus gas is higher than most other states right now. The only jobs I’ve been able to (practically beg for) are adjunct teaching positions at two different colleges. My commute for BOTH of those is 1-2 hours each. I don’t know what the fuck they expect people like me, who are scraping by (making under 20,000 a year) are supposed to do. I’m so depressed. And it’s not like I could just get a third job at my local Mc.Donalds, teaching takes up SO MUCH of my time I can barely fit it in now. Oh, and I also have no health insurance, so that’s nice. I work so hard for nothing. Know what else pisses me off? The smug, SLIGHTLY older MEN I work with who are actually really well off right now. Of course they can get full time positions teaching and when they get offered adjunct pay they get WAY more than me (they have more work experience because they are a little older and were able to get in some before the economy crashed).

I just looked at my paycheck and 13% of that went to all the new taxes. I barely make anything to begin with…I was counting on this last paycheck too. I did some extra stuff to get a little more. I don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do in the summer months.

I found out yesterday you’re SUPPOSED to spend one-week’s wages on rent. Is that true? That’s fucking hilarious to me. I live exactly between my two jobs. I could get cheaper rent, if I was fine with adding to my commute times (1-2 hours now) and paying more for gas. Which is rising. LMAO – what the fuck. I am slap-happy-pissed right now.

Basically this flash game – http://playspent.org/ – IS my life.

Okidokie, I’m putting us in maintenance mode (which means only admins have access) at 8p, EST. I’ll do all the magic, then hopefully by some time in the middle of the night, we’ll be up and running on the new box.

Keep an eye on the FB page, Twitter and tumblr for updates while we’re down. Andrew Garfield’s hair be willing, most people won’t even notice the change, other than the pages loading wicked fast again.

New job starts tomorrow! Whooooo! Also exciting this week: I’m getting Pokemon White and the strategy guide in the mail, as well as a bunch of makeup and nail polishes that I ordered!

What exciting things are going on for the rest of y’all?

Angry Feminist mini-rant!

Seriously, health insurance? I can’t select “Miss” as my title” I have to choose Mrs. or Ms.? That’s bullshit. I get to choose my title, not you.

I will leave it blank and I know it will be put into their system as “Ms.” but at least I won’t have selected a title for myself that I don’t choose.

Out of curiosity – why do you prefer ‘Miss’ to ‘Ms’?

I usually choose ‘Ms’ and get annoyed when there is only ‘Miss’ or ‘Mrs’ because I thought those two indicate marital status and it’s nobody’s business whether I am married or not. Just as you can’t infer marital status from ‘Mr’, you can’t tell from ‘Ms’ either.

When I was going into teaching, I decided that I would stay with “Miss,” because “Ms.” invites questions. I remember there was a looooot of speculation about the teachers who chose “Ms.” when I was in High School. I’ve stuck with it because it’s what I’m used to, it sounds better with my name, and I’m okay with people knowing my marital status. When I get married, I will probably use “Ms.” and my current last name (I don’t plan on changing it, and “Mrs.-my-last-name” would be incorrect, since “Mrs.” technically means “Wife of.”)

Basically… I have issues with “Mrs.” that I don’t have with “Miss.”

The last form without that option that I can remember right now was on one to sign up to a store’s loyalty programme – now that I’m thinking about it that may have been a ploy to register marital status without having to ask …

It’s interesting, though, what you mentioned about choosing ‘Ms’ as a teacher.
At the high school I went to for two years in Ireland, there were a few pairs of female teachers who had the same last name, so when one was married and the other one wasn’t they had to be called Mrs and Miss (last name). One of the married teachers insisted on Ms (last name) and the whole thing got complicated.

TMI GROSSNESS AHEAD:

I had a colposcopy this past Tuesday, and today while I was in the shower some weird clumpy stuff came out. It was kind of…beige in color, and had the consistency of chicken skin (gross, I know). it was round and about the size of quarter. Is this normal?? The doctor only mentioned having slightly darker discharge than normal and “coffee ground” bits.

I’m no doctor, but I did a bit of Googling and it sounds like that is somewhat common – I found multiple message board threads with a bunch of women who described very similar tissue-like discharge (and who all were freaked out because they were told to expect darker / grittier discharge but not that). You could call your doctor and ask if you’re really concerned, but from what I know about colposcopies it sounds like that falls into the “weird and icky but normal” category. :)

The new neighbours introduced themselves by drilling through the main electricity cable for the building last night.

You know, a simple “hi” would have been fine. You didn’t have to cut of all power.

So now I’m sitting in a café to be able to get some stuff done.

I went to see “Unknown” at the picturehouse. You know, that film with Liam Neeson beating baddies up in Europe that isn’t “Taken”. It was quite good as silly twist thrillers go.

Except for January Jones who is the worst actor I have ever seen in a Hollywood movie. It’s not as if she’s just wooden, it’s like she doesn’t know where to look when she’s on camera and about to snigger half the time. Luckily everyone else is good and if you are into craggy-sexy Irish men this movie has two of them .

Apparently in douchebag-ese, “Fuck off and die you horrible waste of space.” actually means “Please continue to send me texts and e-mails telling me that I should be friends with you because you’re a Nice Guy(TM) and don’t want to feel guilty for using me.”

Ughhhh, what sort of deluded mind would actually think it would be acceptable to dump someone for no reason completely out of the blue and then pester them to be friends? On what planet is that an acceptable thing to do??

I’ve had this one. You have to explain that you don’t want to talk to him, ever ever again, that that breakuper doesn’t get to decide whether or not you are friends and that no, you don’t really think he’s a Nice Guy (TM) and that you dont’ really care how it makes him feel; then block him everywhere, hit ‘silence’ when he calls, and simply not reply ever again. Don’t ever pick up or reply to his texts or anything.
It took about three months for this one clown to get it. But he got tired and only called once a week or so before the end. Finally he texted, “YOu were really serious about not talking to me.” YES, IDIOT. In fact, I changed his name on my phone to “Idiot.”
It is painful but it can also feel good to have a bit of control over the thing. Ugh, I’m so sorry. I wish I could send you a magical disappearing potion to give him instead.

Well, I just sent him an e-mail asking him to return some stuff that ended with “After you have returned [my stuff] to me, you will no longer contact me in any way.

If you hear from me again it will be because a.) I have missed my period (which will hopefully begin on Wednesday) and you need to pay for my abortion, or b.) you have infected me with an STD.”

He responded saying that he would give me my stuff back and without anymore nonsense about being friends, so I’m hoping that he gets it. If not I’ll have to spell it out with the additional statements you suggested.

unless it was specifically important I would consider those items collateral damage and lose the guy completely.
Once I was dumped by a guy who tried to do basically a hit and run (he broke up with me by simply no longer calling)–but it didn’t work because I’d left a lot of stuff at his place. For some reason I just felt I needed it all back, and I realize now none of it was important and I could have just blown it off.

It’s stuff that’s too expensive for me to replace. If I wasn’t, I would just blow it off. Plus we work together, so I can’t lose him completely. Nothing like shitting where you eat, eh?

Luckily we work in different departments so we have no contact unless we make a point of it. And if he continues to make a point of contacting me and making work uncomfortable, I can speak to my boss about it (we don’t have a no dating policy or anything like that, partly because I work for my university).

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I went through a similar thing with this asshat I dated in high school. This was the guy who once told me in all seriousness that I was lucky he wasn’t picky. And when I called him on it, he defended it like it was a normal thing to say! And then after breaking up with me out of the blue, he left me many great voice mails containing such gems as “You at least owe it to me to talk to me after everything you did.” Yeah, real peach.

He finally showed up at my house. So I finally just told him that it was not my job to let him expunge his guilt by making me feel worse, it was not my job to make him feel better, I didn’t owe him anything, and if he really cared about me as much as he said he did then he would respect my wishes and leave me alone.

You’re better off without someone who would treat you like that. Stay strong, sister.

New terrible-but-hilarious Saturday night drinking game created by me and my favorite ridiculous-drinking-game-friend: We’ve been watching episodes of The Secret Life of the American Teenager on Netflix, and drinking every time anyone says “sex”.

If I wasn’t in just the right mood with just the right company, I’d be ranting about how much I hate ABC Family and their anti-choice rhetoric. As it is, I’m going to have another beer and rant tomorrow instead.

Who else has the hardest time getting friends to go see music with them? I know so few people who are into the same music I am! And it leads me to – often – staying in instead of going out. Which, I don’t mind. For the most part, I really enjoy the quietness and alone time. Happy Saturday night, y’all!

Nobody that well-known; just a couple of local bands. But I like to see music frequently (like every week), mostly indie stuff, so that’s a lot of asking friends if they wanna go to this show or that show, y’know?

It’s funny cause I used to be more comfortable going to shows alone when I first moved to where I live. Now that I’ve lived here so long and know more people, I just feel defeated when I can’t find anyone to go with. I think I feel more comfortable going alone to a show if I’ll know absolutely no one, or if I’ll know a lot of people / be going with a lot of people. The in-between is awkward for me.

What kind of music do you have trouble getting friends to see with you?

JSYK, if any of you reading have ever requested friends and I didn’t accept, it’s a my bad on my part…. I for some reason thought friend requests were automatically okayed on the site for a while, it took me a few times to realize if I left the request it didn’t accept.

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