This episode is titled “Silence of the Lamb,” which might make you hopeful that it is going to mirror the best movie EVAR. But it’s not quite that good. Nevertheless, we do get a little deeper into the seedy underbelly of Neptune’s inept sheriff’s department, 09er scandals, and more of Veronica’s questionable taste in boyfriends.Papa Mars is teamed up with Sheriff Lamb in Veronica Mars’ version of a buddy cop duo where one cop is completely inept and the other is marginally less so. How does this happen? Well, before Sheriff Mars was unceremoniously ousted from the sheriff’s department after royally screwing up the Lilly Kane case, he also managed to Not Catch a serial killer that was murdering college-age women: The E-string strangler. Apparently they thought they caught the serial killer up in Oakland, but they did not and he’s back and the mayor is worried that the bad press will interfere with Spring Break revenue. So they bring back Papa Mars as a consultant on the case and he and Sheriff Lamb cavort around Neptune inter
viewing Suspicious Guitar Players to find the killer.
Meanwhile, business is booming for Veronica who is getting background info on the parents of 09er kids for $50 a pop. I don’t know who these 09er parents are that they would be like, “Oh you’re right. I got married on a whim once so I clearly have no authority over you! Off with you! Do what you want!” Every parent I know would be like, “Um yeah, I made a shitty decision, that’s how I KNOW that you should have a curfew. Don’t like the rules? Sowwy, you’re SOL.” But, maybe these kids don’t know that. Or they have crappy parents. Both are equally plausible. So, Mac, ever the entrepreneur (which is why she is Furious Favorite #2), comes to Veronica with a plan to start a website where they team up to get info on people. Veronica says she feels too overwhelmed, which is too bad because it’s obviously an amazing idea. Mac loves to profit off these morons. Mac also asks Veronica to get some info on HER parents, because she’s always felt like she doesn’t fit in with them. Normally that would be like, right, because you’re a teenager. That’s how it works. But Veronica finds out that Mac’s parents were awarded $1 million by the Neptune hospital in 1992. After some more research (on microfiche at the library. How quaint.) she learns that Mac was switched at birth. With none other than Madison Sinclair – Neptune High’s Worst Ever. Seriously, keep watching the show, she’s horrible. Madison Sinclair is rich, a bitch, and cruel. And it just so happens that she’s having a birthday party, which
Mac decides to crash to see “how the other half lives.”
At the party, Mac meets Madison’s little sister…who is actually Mac’s little sister. She’s like a mini-Mac – dark hair, sweet, loves reading. Mac is devastated that this could have been her life and wishes that she had just been switched back when the mistake was realized. This parallels Veronica’s own suspicion that Jake Kane might be her real dad, but unlike Mac she doesn’t want to know and she feels that even if Papa Mars isn’t her real Papa, that she wouldn’t have it any other way. So while Veronica tries to be a supportive friend, she also really doesn’t know where Mac is coming from.
Over with the bumbling sheriffs, they spoke with a bartender (who also plays guitar) at the bar that the girls disappeared from who suggests that the sheriffs question Vic, a creepster who videotapes girls at the bar and sells them to a Girls Gone Wild-type franchise. When they go over there, Creepmaster Flex Vic who lives in a Hoarders-style apartment packed with videos presumably of girls flashing their boobies, is super suspicious AND owns a guitar. Lamb of course is ready to take the guy down right then, but rational Papa Mars says they need to get a warrant first. Procedure Schmocedure!
So while all this is going on, they’ve left a new guy in charge of the station. Leo, who is also a Leo. Cute. He’s hitting on Veronica left and right and has this total stoner way of talking. Kind of like what James Franco’s fa
cial expressions would sound like if they could talk. V-Money takes advantage of this to break into the evidence locker at the station to steal the recording of the Hotline Tip that came in fingering Abel Koontz for Lilly’s murder. Ugh Stoner Leo is still hitting on Veronica, and he’s super annoying. I can’t believe she’s going to fall for this, since it seems like she doesn’t have much respect for him. Anyway, after he’s done being a creep, Veronica goes home and hears the altered-voice of the person who called in about Abel Koontz.
Lamb and Mars have brought in Eddie, the Girls Gone Wild video guy after seeing that two of the murdered girls were on his tapes. But Eddie Lawyers Up as they say on Law and Order. Ooh that probably means we’ll be seeing Neptune’s Only Lawyer. And it looks like Eddie might be off the hook, because another girl went missing while they had Eddie at the station. In fact it looks like it might be the bartender at the bar where the girls went missing. Crack police work, guys. Papa Mars is freaked out though and keeps calling Veronica to make sure she’s safe, but she’s not answering her phone. He tracks the GPS on her phone (too overprotective for my taste, sorry Pops) and finds her…..sitting in on Sheriff Leo’s band practice. Really V? <sigh> I guess even awesome girls like Veronica have their kryptonite. When Keith finds Veronica with Leo he pretty much is like, “Oh, good, Leo, come with me we need to go do important Police Stuff. Byeee!” So he and Leo head to the killer’s house, where they find the missing girl locked in a trunk. The killer comes in, tries to kill Keith, but Leo stops him and saves Keith. <swoon> Our Heeeero. Veronica is totally loving this and is all “oooh you saved my daaaaad” but it doesn’t matter in the long run because Leo is suspended for a week because Veronica left the evidence room unlocked. Veronica feels guilty and Stoner Leo is just like “uhuhuhuh I should have known.” Ugh, seriously Veronica, look at your life! Look at your choices! Anyway, that’s not the last we’ll see of Leo. Unfortunately.
So anyway, Mac goes by the Sinclair house saying that she left a purse at Madison’s party. This comes right after Veronica tells Mac that the million dollars that COULD have made Mac’s family 09er material, was used by her dad to buy a business that went bankrupt, was bought out, and that Mac’s dad now works at. Sad. Mac’s bio-mom is all shocked to see her, but they don’t say that they know the truth and it’s about as awkward as you’d expect. Later when Mac’s family is getting ready to go on a camping trip, Mac sees her bio-mom sitting in her car across the street. Just watching. Creep! Mac then lets Veronica know that she thinks she was able to de-alter the voice on the Hotline CD, so Veronica goes over there, listens to it and says she recognizes the voice. It’s none other than Clarence Weidman, head of security at Kane Industries. Veronica decides to give him a taste of his own medicine by stalking him with her own high-powered camera and then sending the photos to him at work. This episode is full of creeps! Anyway, “game on” Veronica says ominously, but I think she may have bitten off more than she can chew.
Next week: More Leo romance (groan) and more intrigue!