LadyGhosts of TV Past

Ladyghosts: Veronica Mars, Episode 1.13, “Lord of the Bling”

I’ll just warn you now, reader, that this is one of the super-lamest Mysteries of the Week of the season, if not the series.  The MotW is the disappearance of one Yolanda Hamilton, daughter of music producer Bone Hamilton and former friend of Veronica’s back when Veronica was popular.  Instead of a glimpse into the lives of the families of rich music producers, it would have been better to have started this episode where they left off the last one, with Lynn Echolls’ car stopped on a bridge and Lynn missing.  It is the far more compelling component of this episode. But most of this episode is flashbacks and MotW solving.  Eh, on with it, shall we?So Yolanda is missing and it looks like foul play may have been involved. Her dad doesn’t trust cops, so he goes to Papa Mars for help finding his daughter. Bone starts off by giving Keith a list of his enemies in Southern California, and Keith makes his way down from the top, starting with Bone’s old lawyer who turned Bone in for tax fraud and was shot and paralyzed while Bone was in prison for the crime.  He’s pissed, but seems an unlikely culprit.  Veronica has been asking around school, and Yolanda’s best friend admits that the last time she saw Yolanda they were both at a club (seriously, how are these teenagers always getting into clubs on TV??).  This is a club that just happens to have Bone’s former bodyguard employed as a bouncer.  A boydguard that was fired because Bone thought he was getting too friendly with Yolanda.  The bouncer/bodyguard claims he doesn’t know where Yolanda lives, but says that a rapper client of Bone’s, named Dime Bag, was also at the club the night Yolanda disappeared. Isn’t it great how things always come together like that in Neptune? Veronica and Keith go track him down at his hotel.  He seems like he might be holding a grudge. because the rumor is that Bone held Dime Bag out a window until he signed a contract (“The only two people who know why Marcellus Wallace pushed Tony out that window is Tony and Marcellus”).  Surprise, surprise, Dime Bag won’t talk to Keith Mars so “¦ surprise, surprise, he bugs Dime Bag’s hotel room.

Over at the Echolls home, Aaron and Logan are grieving Lynn’s death.  Logan is angry as usual and it looks like Aaron is trying to rewrite the past by pretending like he wasn’t abusive.  Logan takes out his anger first on a paparazzo who has broken onto the property and then unleashes his wrath on Aaron in front of a whole group of paparazzi – blaming Aaron for his mom’s death.

Back to MotW, the next stop on Veronica’s schoolmate investigation is Yolanda’s nerdy brother Bryce, who is also feeling pretty angry with his dad.  Looks like that might be a theme for this episode.  Bryce is mad that his dad was in jail for 1/3 of his life, he’s mad that apparently there isn’t a lot of respect for science fair champions in his family, and he thinks Yolanda was taken by one of Bone’s unsavory friends.  He also wonders why Veronica and Yolanda aren’t friends anymore which leads to, you guessed it, a flashback!  In the flashback we learn that Logan made out with Yolanda while he was still with Lilly (like father, like son?) so Lilly made Veronica and everyone cut Yolanda out.  Guess Lilly was a Mean Girl twice!  Anyway, Veronica feels really guilty about not standing up to Lilly and trying to stay friends with this girl. Waah waah.

Amanda Seyfriend in Mean Girls.  She is smiling and the text reads "On Wednesdays we wear pink"

OK, so Veronica and Keith follow a bunch of dead-end leads that I’m not going to bother to go into because they’re all just red herrings.  Bone gets a ransom request which seems fishy to Keith, and not just because it involves throwing a diamond ring down a storm drain (see what I did there??), but because it seemed too specific.  So Veronica tosses some rubber duckies down the storm drain along with the diamond ring in a football as requested by the kidnapper.  The rubber duckies had trackers in them (number two favorite devices of the Mars duo), so Veronica and Papa Mars track the ducks to where they end up at the storm drain’s delta and, lo and behold, there is Bryce, waiting for his diamond ring football. No, there was no kidnapper, Bryce heard Yolanda making plans to run off and get married to the son of the lawyer we met way back at the beginning of episode.  Just like Romeo and Juliet.  So Bryce decided to take advantage of the situation to make a cool half mil.  And I guess to earn his dad’s respect?  Which his dad seems to give him? Yeah, I don’t even know.  Anyway, Mystery of the Week solved.  I think the Mars family should start raising their prices on cases like these.

But the real intrigue comes from Logan’s confession to Duncan at his mom’s funeral.  Logan is barely acting like a grieving son, and it turns out it’s because he doesn’t think his mom is actually dead.  They never found the body and Logan found the lighter his mom always carried that had “Free At Last” written on it.  He takes it as a sign that Lynn just escaped. And he seeks out our girl Veronica to help him find her.

Tune in with me next week. Will Veronica take up the case? Is Lynn Echolls actually dead? Will next week’s mystery be more exciting? I sure hope so!

Image source: We Heart It

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