Morbid Curiosity

Morbid Curiosity Monday: Wine-Cheese Spread

So picture this:  it’s the weekend and you’re hosting a fancy-pants wine and cheese party for all of your sophisticated and worldly friends “¦

In one evening, you’re going to discuss How Things Are Done In Europe, the state of print media, and whether or not Coltrane’s earlier music was more challenging than his later stuff. This is a full agenda, my friends! On top of all this, you’ve got to come up with an impressive appetizer to wow those classy, urbanite friends of yours. And when you think of Classy Appetizersâ„¢ to make for your fancy-pants wine and cheese parties, what are the first ingredients that come to mind? That’s right: American cheese and cooking sherry!

Wine-Cheese Spread 2
Actually, you should probably keep these away from open flames.

How does it taste, you ask? Well, imagine you’re eating a big glob of processed cheese paste with chunks of olive and pimento in it. Now imagine that someone has poured a whole bunch of booze into this cheese-paste. Yeah, that’s pretty much how it tastes! The sherry is powerful, and the ol’ neon orange cheese is just heavy. There are so many more tempting choices when it comes to cheese, like a nice creamy Camembert, or a 14 week aged Stilton … I mean, why limit yourself?

This recipe is pretty vague about how much of each ingredient to use. I started out with about a loose cup of shredded cheese, and put in what I thought would be the right amount of sherry. As I mixed it together, I thought, Uh-oh … that’s too much sherry. I’m gonna need more cheese. So I added more cheese. Then more sherry. And so on. The moral of this story is to add the sherry in tiny, tiny increments. Otherwise, you will be left with a big bowl full of gooey cheese paste and a room full of sophisticated, worldly friends who are very disappointed in you.

Wine-Cheese Spread

Wine-Cheese Spread
Combine aged American or cheddar cheese with enough sherry to make a smooth spread. Add half as much chopped stuffed olives. Mix well.

This recipe is from the appetizer section of the Mary Margaret McBride Encyclopedia of Cooking, published  by Homemakers Research Institute in 1959.


A version of this post originally appeared in Jen R. L. Disarray’s blog, Maybe We Shouldn’t Be Eating This. Jen has a broken arm, so until it improves a bit more, she’s cross-posting a few of her favorite recipes from the previous year.

By Jen R. L. Disarray

Jen was once described as a "culinary anthropologist". She liked that. When she is not making questionable foods, Jen enjoys reading, sassing, and lurking all over the internet. Jen has a blog called Maybe We Shouldn't Be Eating This, and she is a contributor to the Geekquality podcast and blog.

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