Oprah’s had her share of A-HA! moments, and while my journey isn’t as epic as Lady O’s, I thought I’d share with you an A-HA! (or, rather, A-HAttie!) moment that I’ve had. I’d like to share it because it’s important, and because I think it could help the many, many of you who aren’t as actualized as I am.
Also, I thought I’d share some pictures of myself. They aren’t pictures of me during my defining moment, nor do they necessarily represent how I felt during or after the moment, but I still think they really add to the post.
So, my A-HAttie! moment came just last year, when I was unemployed, semi-homeless, and suffering from depression. (What’s worse, I had gained weight since my wedding. Shudder.) Anyway, there I was, sleeping 13 hours a day, struggling to find the energy or motivation to shower, let alone sit at the computer to look for a job. My stuff ““ my precious stuff! ““ was all in boxes in a storage unit. Things had never been lower in Hattieville, chicas!
So one day, after I forced myself to go take a walk by literally yelling at my own feet, I started thinking about what was wrong with my life. Why was everything so pooptacular in the House of Hattie? I sat on a bench, artfully tucked my hair behind my ear, squinted towards the horizon, and had my revelation. I’ll share it with you now. Ready? Here it is. Comin’ atcha.
I’m the only reason bad things happen to me.
And I’m not talking about my actions; I’m talking about my thoughts. I’d been having negative thoughts, friends, which had poisoned my life and caused bad things to come in. I continued thinking on that bench, drawing my knees up under my chin and hugging myself symbolically. Poetically, even. (Did I mention it was late afternoon and the sun was glinting off my silky brown hair?)
So anyway, I was like, suck it up! If I sit around all day like a Mopey Mabel, how am I ever going to get my favorite things that I deserve? And there are so many things, readers. Clothes, furniture, appliances, linens”¦it’s hard to know where to start! But all I knew was that I deserved them all. And I only had myself and my stupid brain to blame for the fact that I didn’t have them yet. My brain had to be the only thing holding me back, because the rest of me was, to be honest, totally spectacular.
But once I had my epiphany, I got to work. Oh, and by “work” I don’t mean going to a job where I’d use my skills in a productive manner, nor do I mean pouring my time and energy into a beloved family. I’m talking about thinking. Thinking, thinking, always thinking about the things I wanted. I wanted a stainless steel panini maker. I wanted a couch covered in real suede, not stupid microfiber! The thread count of the sheets I was sleeping on literally ““ lit-rally! ““ made Baby Jesus cry. My TV was so low-def that all the people onscreen looked like Grimace. Someone as great as Hattie Duchess McDoogal ought to have those things, darnit, so I spent more and more time thinking about my favorite things.
You may be wondering if it worked? Of course it worked. I mean, look at my life: I’m an unassuming office admin by day and a stylish sophisticated blogger by night. Now that we’re part of Harpo, I think I’ll get to quit that other job and just get my blog on full-time! (See what I mean? Positive thinking!) Just the other day I bought that panini maker. That moment was a real triumph.
So after all this great stuff has happened, and so many great things have come to me, are you wondering what my favorite thing is? Well”¦it’s me of course! I think I’m fabulous, which means I am fabulous. And you know what? In such a short amount of time, I made it happen! AND I get to come home every night to a place every day that is filled with things. I have the material possessions I need to keep me entertained, happy, distracted, and always mindful of the fact that I am amazing. In fact, I might be more amazing than anyone else I know. A-HAttie!