In Defense Of Pantsuits

I think there is no article of women’s clothing more unfairly maligned than the pantsuit.

I think we should discuss it, right here, out in the open.

I first remember being aware of pantsuits as a source of controversy when Bill Clinton was running for president. The press seemed to deride everything Hillary Clinton wore, criticizing her from her headband to her pantsuit hem. As a young teen at the time, I remember thinking that Hillary looked like I would expect a smart woman lawyer to look — she seemed attractive yet no-nonsense. She didn’t have time to worry about stockings ripping and hairspray and whatnot — she had shit to do!

One of the things that I love about Hillary Clinton to this day is her insistence on wearing a variety of pantsuits despite the press’s obsessive criticism of them. As a former lawyer myself, I know that if I were schlepping around the world for most of every month, I would not pack a bunch of delicate looking skirtsuits. On the contrary, I would pack what I know I would want to wear, and that is most definitely pantsuits.

So here are some pantsuit considerations:

1) Chub-Rub Avoidance — Where are my big-thighed girls? You know what I’m talking about. If it’s hot out, your inner thighs are going to rub together, get sweaty, and get irritated. It’s almost like they’re lovers that can’t stay away from each other but aren’t so good for one another. And you know that pantyhose or tights aren’t going to stay in place. There are always those bike shorts or whatever, but you don’t want to wear those every day. Be kind to your inner thighs. Wear a pantsuit.

2) Leg Shaving Unnecessary — We all know leg-shaving is kind of bullshit, but most of feel like we have to do it when wearing a skirt to work. Don’t do it. Razors pain you, you might as well live. Wear a pantsuit.

3) Pantyhose? WTF? Amiright? — Pantyhose are a pain in the ass, but in certain settings, they’re required to look professional if you’re wearing a skirt. Plus, it’s easy to get runs, and sometimes they’re hard to get on and they roll down easily. Who needs it? Wear a pantsuit.

4) Leg Crossing Is A Thing Of The Past — I don’t really cross my legs, so if I’m wearing a skirt I’m usually holding my knees together, which may aggravate item #1 above. Who needs to worry about this crap? Like Hillary, you’ve got shit to do. You can’t worry about propriety. Just wear a pantsuit.

Don’t get me wrong, I still like a good dress or skirt. But if you haven’t slept so well and you have to wake up early to go to some godawful meeting or whatever, I hope you will consider this advice and wear a pantsuit.

I also secretly hope that one day Hillary Clinton will have a vanity clothing line of solely pantsuits in a variety of sizes. If she’s selling, I’m buying.