Lunchtime Poll

Lunchtime Poll: 4/5

Hi team, and happy Tuesday! Today’s LTP is inspired by an IM conversation I had with a friend that ended up, as IM convos are wont to do, with a discussion of our decisions and choices in a post-apocalyptic world. Assuming the world’s been undone by the kind of disaster that we’d want to survive, we were thinking about the kind of things we’d use to protect ourselves. 

As a scrawny, not-particularly-graceful person, I’d assumed I should stick with a long range weapon like a bow-and-arrow. But, there are two problems with that plan. First, there’s the issue of reloading. While Legolas made it look totally badass to approach fallen foes and retrieve the used arrows from their lifeless corpses, I don’t think I’d have the stomach for that. Second, repeatedly deploying a bow and arrow requires more arm strength than I currently posess.

And so it was that I settled on a small sword, perhaps a cutlass, as my weapon of choice. I still think my main strategy would be to avoid conflict if at all possible, but if cornered I could probably unleash some kind of quick attack against larger, slower foes.

What say you, Persephoneers? Has anyone given this as much thought? Even if you haven’t, what would you want to use to protect yourself in a barren, lawless society?

Photo: Getty

22 replies on “Lunchtime Poll: 4/5”

I was talking about this with my kids just a few days ago. In the case of a zombie apocalypse I have to go with a shovel. It gives you a pretty good reach, so the zombies are less likely to get close enough to infect you, if you sharpen the head a little you have a weapon that can bludgeon or slice, depending on how you hold it, and you can also use it to dig a latrine trench when you need to. Burying your waste is an important detail when avoiding predators in the wild.

I would also like a shotgun, a knife and a hammer. Or two.

I think that I would carry a crossbow, a handgun, and a machete. I’m considered a ‘robust wilderness woman’ by some, so I think I could handle carrying all that jazz around. I’m not sqeamish, so I could totally get my arrows back, and I’m a decent shot with firearms. Machetes are just badass and can be used for loads of other purposes.

I may be thinking about this a bit more than necessary.

I was thinking about this last night, as linking back to the zombie survival thread from last month (and the fact that I’m currently reading World War Z for the 3rd time) had me considering what I’d use as a weapon during a zombie invasion. I was standing at the bus stop, and actually surveying nearby construction for possible beheading-capable weapons, when I realized I was being a crazy person.

My choice of weapon would depend on what kind of apocalyptic disaster we were dealing with, but it would have to be based on the fact that I have no upper body strength and also that ammunition sources may become scarce. I think I’d want an axe (good for breaking out windows if trapped, as well as killing things dead), as well as a small dagger.

I am laughing so hard at the other answers, don’t fuck with a Persephoneer, man, we’ll fuck you up right back.

I can’t shoot for shit and my body is composed of a lot of squishy, weak parts so I’m going with a can of AquaNet and a Bic lighter. As @moshmoshkla says, it’s low mess and allows for a nice safe distance between me and what’s trying to make me a corpse.

For me, it’s all about the flamethrower.

You can easily keep your foes at a distance and you don’t really need precision because you can just torch the shit out of everything around you. Added bonus: no blood splatter on your new shoes!

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I waffle between a handgun and a baseball bat. I think it really depends on the location. If I am in an enclosed space like a house or alley, I’d prefer the bat. I don’t think I could handle stabbing someone (or something). That made me gag a little just thinking about it. So, the bludgeoning seems like a good idea. However, I have been to the shooting range enough to feel good about a hand gun in open spaces.

BTW – not an NRA member, just from a family of hunters so have grown up with guns. Personally, they scare the bejeesus out of me. Which in a post apocalyptic world is probably a good thing…hopefully they scare everyone enough to stay away from me!

I have thought about similar topics – what I’d do if zombies attacked or some monsters or serial killer were after me. And I concluded that I’d hide. I’m small and could fit lots of places (I know after one drunken night in college that I can fit myself into a dryer), and I’d do my best to remain in hiding and let everybody else pick each other off until it was safe to come out. If I did have to defend myself, though…I kick pretty hard. And I’d prefer a gun, I think – the prospect of stabbing somebody with a sword squicks me out, and I think I’m too clumsy for something like a bow and arrow.

No, I’ve never touched a gun before…I feel like my failure would be pretty much guaranteed with a bow and arrow though – I’m imagining myself just dropping the arrow over and over and never even actually being able to shoot it, let alone shoot it well. Though being able to shoot gun wouldn’t do me any good if I don’t come close to hitting anything. Maybe I’d want something I can smack people with instead, like a bat or something.

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