Open Thread

Monday Night Open Thread

How were your weekends, Persephoneers?  Mine was great! I got lots of walking in, tried out a new ice cream parlor, AND I found this video on YouTube!  I’m not sure which was the best part, but Giles as Frank-N-Furter and homemade ice cream are tied for first right now.  See you in the comments!

By Luci Furious

There are no bad times, only good stories.

25 replies on “Monday Night Open Thread”

Also, I just found out my dad was offered a job that will mean my parents get to move very, very close to us (and will be living with us for a while as they get settled/sell their old house, etc.).

I think I am a big weirdo for being excited about my parents moving in with us, but since the LawToddler came along, I totally understand why so many people do the multigenerational living…

We got a dog this weekend! He’s 100 + pounds of lab/mastiff love, around a year and a half/ two years old (they guess), and tall enough to grab a dish towel off the kitchen counter without more than a head raise. The Humane Society hooked us up with a bunch of toys (for free!), and then I promptly went out and spent more than his adoption fee at PetSmart getting him a bunch of stuff.

He still doesn’t want to eat, but he seems to be settling in OK. Any hints for getting him to feel happy here? He’s sleeping a lot, and doesn’t seem much interested in toys… I know he must have had a bit of a rough go of it before he got to us (there’s a scar on his neck from being chained/tied up, and another scar on his ear, and he really doesn’t like walking in the road), so I’d like to make this transition as easy as possible.

When I adopted my rescue, I pretty much left him alone and let him come to me, and whenever he approached me, I praised him and made sure he was free to come hang out with me whenever he wanted. But you have to start establishing boundaries soon. Let him know it’s not okay to jump up on you or grab stuff off the counter, if he tries that. Establish your relationship early on, because it’s easier to do that than have to re-establish your relationship when your enormous dog thinks he’s in charge. But otherwise, have fun! Relax, let him relax. If he’s looking bored, show him a toy or take him for a walk. Think of him like a house guest right now – you want him to feel welcome and want to stay, right? (Assuming you like guests, or most house guests.) So if he’s bored entertain him until he’s comfortable entertain himself, but mostly let him hang out with you and get to know you. And congratulations! Rescue dogs are the best!

If he’s more mastif than lab, he probably won’t have a ton of energy. You may find that the sleeping all the time is, just, kinda what he does.

I’ve adopted several dogs and fostered more, and one of the best things I’ve picked up is the use of a crate for the dog. I didn’t grow up with crating dogs so it took me a while to come around to it but it’s been really successful on a number of levels.

If you aren’t already doing this: the crate provide a sense of security and protection for the dog. You can use it to potty train and to keep them from getting into trouble if you need to go out of the house for a couple of hours, but the point is to get the dog to feel like it is their spot. Put a blanket or a dog bed in there, allow the dog to go in whenever he wants, and never pull or force them out of the crate. In our house, our biggest dog always runs into his room whenever he’s gotten wet outside because he hates being dried off, so if he goes in his room he knows we won’t come after him with the dreaded towel. Our smallest dog eats in her crate because it keeps the two bigger dogs from getting at her food (with the door open, she just needs to protect her bowl from one angle this way). The middle one, who was a severe abuse case and suffers from a lot of anxieties, runs into her crate whenever we seem to be getting ready to leave the house, so we give her a bone and a chew toy and she seems far happier in there when we’re gone then she does if we let her loose.

Long walks (or jogs if you’re up for it) go a long way to establishing a sense of packness for new animals. He’ll warm up to you as he feels safe and you’ve established yourself as a good presence in his life.

And good luck! I love big dogs and I’m always so happy to see them get adopted since so many don’t.

We hadn’t thought of crating since we didn’t grow up doing it with our dogs either, but I think we might with him – he seems happy, but every time he lays down, he tries to get his head under something – the lowest bookshelf shelf, the bed, etc… I’m thinking he might like someplace to den in (assuming the cats don’t just up and take it over as their own). Plus, later this summer when my parents come to live with us for a while, there will be another dog, and it might be nice for him to have his own space – thank you for the idea.

We’ve set up a pretty consistent walk schedule, and I think that has already helped get him feeling more comfortable, too. Somewhere along the line, someone taught him good manners (on leash and off), so it’s been really easy for us to fall in love with him and not worry so much about the discipline (though he did try to take an unattended plate off the table… sneaky counter surfer…).

I can’t believe big guys don’t get adopted (same goes for black dogs/cats not getting adopted); one of my personal blind spots, I think, “well, I like them, why doesn’t everyone else?”

I’m applying for jobs in a new city. Did not think i would get many bites on the ol’ c.v., so I was looking forward to a summer off. Now I have two serious possibilities that I’m a candidate for– one that would be superfun and another that would be superlame. About this I feel… lukewarm. But excited about the superfun job. It would be a big change for me, and a real challenge.

Luci, can you tell me how you liked Bryn Mawr? I’m a Swarthmore grad very, very close to accepting an offer to be a visiting assistant professor at BMC starting this summer. As in, will make a decision within the next 48 hours.

Also, Amanda, I grew up in Santa Barbara before heading to Swarthmore. Had a great time on the East Coast, ended up choosing to stay on the East Coast rather than CA for grad school. And now, quite possibly heading back that way soon after a few years here in Chicago.

I had a pretty busy weekend with volunteering at an animal rescue AND the Pride Festival, and my first riding lesson ever, and my good friend’s bday party out on the town (a place that I hate). It was exhausting! Now I am spending the night at my parents because I have a super early dr’s appointment on their side of town, and I keep thinking no matter what, I will be homeless before I move back here if I don’t pass the Bar. NO MATTER WHAT.

Oh, and at Pride, I was manning my school’s LGBT group’s booth, and a cute lesbian totally gave me her phone number on one of those “equal means equal” stickers. I’m straight and want to marry my boyfriend almost as much as I want to pass the bar and be a lawyer, but still! That has never happened to me before! I almost want to text her just to say thanks for making my day, but you know. I stuck it on my fridge, though.

I’ve been applying to big-girl jobs via Workopolis and I’m kind of freaking on being hired and then being desperately incompetent. I’ve had to pull out of school due to mental thingummys, so I have basically no qualifications and I’m only 21, but I need to make some money. I feel like a 6 year-old pretending to be a grown-up in my mom’s clothes.

ugh, that’s stressful. However, one thing to keep in mind: people employing you don’t know this, and they will see you as a young adult, not a child klunking along in your mom’s heels. If you can fake it for them, I expect you’ll surprise yourself at how competent you truly are.

I visited Mount Holyoke this weekend and could use some advice from people who have already gone through choosing and attending college.
I’m a senior in high school and I have until May 1 to choose a college. I have it narrowed down to Seattle University and Mount Holyoke. I like Holyoke more, but I’m really worried about the move from the West Coat to the East Coast (I’ve lived in San Diego my whole life). Will moving far away make college that much more difficult? I’m really worried about Serious Snow and missing the more laid-back aspects of the West Coast.

I went 10 hours away for college and never regretted it. There wasn’t a lot of change in the weather (besides less snow and more humidity), but there was definitely a different vibe. I think you should focus more on the colleges themselves and just go with which one feels better or fits your interests better. Besides, you can always transfer if it doesn’t turn out to be the right fit. Good luck!

Totally not the end of the world. I was lucky in that I had marching band that started before classes did so I had a pretty core set of friends from the beginning. It seemed like others made fast friends with people from their dorms and other classes though. I don’t know anything about either college – do you know what percentage are in-state vs. out of state vs. commuters? The more diverse geographically they come from, the more likely they are to be open to friendships. Don’t stress out too much!

I was a first year about two years ago so I remember really well how this felt! I had much less of a move, though so I ‘can’t really help with that. I think it would depend on your personality- are you adventurous or more of a homebody? Have you ever been away from home for a long period before? I f you have, then it would probably be easier for you to make the move, and help you adjust faster and/or know how to deal with missing home. Also, you have to consider financial things- basically, hoe often can you afford to go home? It might change your mind if you can only ever go home for summer/winter break, or if you can make it for spring and thanksgiving as well. Hope this helps!

I went from Oregon to Bryn Mawr for college. I only spent my freshman year at Bryn Mawr but that was about my depression, which didn’t have anything to do with the distance or the east coast/west coast thing. I loved it. I was so glad to have had the experience of being that far away from home and meeting all kinds of new people. It was definitely scary, because it’s not as easy to just come home if things are rough. But I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. I also looked at Mt. Holyoke and was debating between there and BMC :)

I’ve definitely been thinking that such a dramatic difference would be a good experience, I’m just not sure if I could make a smooth adjustment to a new area and starting college and being far away from home. But on the other hand, if I am going to move across the country, college is as easy as it’s going to get. Did you end up going back to Oregon?
Thanks to everyone who’s responding to me and listening to barely-coherent debates with myself. I really appreciate it. : )

After I left Bryn Mawr I spent a semester in Oregon, just living at home and trying to get my shit together. But I knew I didn’t want to stay in Oregon for college. But since you’re not looking at schools in San Diego I guess that’s not your issue.
I feel you – deciding on schools can be tough and it feels like omg this is going to change the rest of my life.

Oh and the weather thing can definitely be a little tough. There were a lot of girls from India at Bryn Mawr and they pretty much were dying the whole winter. But after I left Bryn Mawr I went to Scripps (in Southern CA) and then I moved tom NYC. There is not a single winter here in NY that I don’t dream about being back in Southern California, but it’s not a deal-breaker :)

I think I left you a long message about this on Jez, maybe? You’re the only person who can answer how much you’re likely to miss your family and how you handle not being around them. You’ll get used to the snow after you invest in some good boats and a good coat. Can you handle only being able to go home a couple times a year?

I was someone who really wanted and needed the distance from my family, so going far away was a good choice for me. My first winter in the Valley was brutal — they had 16 feet of snow — but I got used to it, since I stayed up there for the better part of a decade.

The Valley is pretty laid back and liberal — again, you can’t beat being able to also take classes at the rest of the 5 colleges. Its an amazing resource.

My weekend was pretty blah. But I did have some good Mexican food with my family (post-birthday celebration) on Saturday. And a super margarita.

Tomorrow is going to be better than the weekend, though! I’m flying to Chicago to see Ricky Martin! If there are any Chicago-area Sephies that want to go to Rosemount and have dinner with me, I’ll be all by my lonesome and wouldn’t mind making a new clever, bookish friend.

I spent my weekend freaking out. I’m packing my apartment to move it into storage while I look for a job. And tomorrow I have a screening interview for my Dream Job (caps to emphasize how dreamy it is) so I’m in crazy land trying to prep to ace the first interview and hope that I’m a serious candidate for the position. Aaaaaauuuuugggghhhhhh!!!!

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