This week’s episode, “Weekend,” is a nice respite from last week’s melodrama. The Chases are going away for the weekend with Graham’s brother and his girlfriend, and Rickie decides to stay with Angela and Danielle at the Chase house while they’re gone.
We start off with Camille Cherski giving Patty some advice about reconnecting to Graham during their weekend away. In her world, that means lingerie and handcuffs. Patty’s embarrassed by the idea of handcuffs, though, so when Graham comes in she hides them under the pillow and sticks the key in her jeans pocket. Patty’s also in a bad mood because Graham came home late after helping restaurant partner Ali fix her car. Oh, and also, Graham’s brother shows up with an entirely new girlfriend, who Patty and Graham hate immediately.
Angela, Danielle, and Rickie are having a quiet weekend at home when Rayanne shows up supposedly to get the seven dollars Rickie owes her. Because it’s Rayanne-freaking-Graf, it’s only a minute before she’s handcuffed to the bed with no key in sight. I actually related to Angela’s annoyance because I was just as unimpressed by how Quirky and Wacky Rayanne is that she got herself in another predicament.
Meanwhile, Graham and Patty still hate his brother’s girlfriend and for some reason are unable to have sex Friday night because they can hear her laughing. Yeah, I don’t know either. The next morning, Patty is all chirpy and tries to rally the group to spend the day ice skating and the like in order to make the most of their weekend away. However! Once they realize there’s no drinking at the bed and breakfast, the crew decides to head into town to find some booze. Patty, still in agenda-making mode, is unhappy about this and decides to show it by staying back and annoying the crap out of the bed and breakfast guy.
Back at the Chase house, Sharon reluctantly points out that Brian would know what to do in this situation. Does anyone else wonder why they didn’t even try picking the lock with some wire or something? I’ve never had to pick the lock of novelty handcuffs, but I’m pretty sure they’re a lot easier to get out of than real handcuffs. Also, when Brian suggests wire cutters, how does Danielle instantly know that Graham doesn’t own them? Anyway, this plot is boring, and not just because I know how it all works out.
Patty is angry when the group finally gets back with some brandy. They’ve wasted the whole day just because a bunch of adults can’t handle one night without alcohol. So, naturally, Patty decides to get totally hammered at dinner and vent her frustrations. While I found Bess Armstrong’s version of Drunk Patty pretty good for comedic value, it made me wonder once again who this show is actually for. Does any reasonable adult actually think drunk people act like that? Or was this supposed to be some kind of cautionary tale for teens against drinking? The point is, Patty goes from passive-aggressively taking her annoyance out on the others to taking her shirt off in the middle of the dining room and yelling about ice cream while being carried out by Graham and his brother. Hm, OK.
Brian has figured out that the best way to get Rayanne off the bed, at least, is to dismantle the headboard so they can slide the handcuff off it. Oh, and did anyone notice that on a Saturday, Brian says, “So we can go to the hardware store on Monday and get a wire cutter.”? Need I point out that once again, this is the weirdest suburb ever, in which teens have multiple bar-like establishments to hang out on all nights of the week, as well as a large warehouse with a society of dozens of homeless teens living inside, and yet the hardware store isn’t open on weekends. OK!
While a hungover Patty drives home with her comrades, the kids frantically try to put the bed back together and clean up the house. Rayanne tries to cut and run, but Angela won’t let her. It’s the closest Angela comes to saying anything to Rayanne about how she actually feels. However, just as you’d expect, the kids get everything cleaned up in time for Angela’s parents’ arrival. In her weakened state, Patty had admitted to Graham that she’s upset about Ali, but the magic handcuffs still help them reconnect once they’re back in their own bed.
Anyway, next week is the last episode of the series, which as you all know involves approximately no resolution because it was never meant to be the series finale. Sad.