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My Prom Date Was Gay

Ladies, how many of you have been there?  Apparently a lot of us, because there’s a tumblr about it, The Hairpin did a post about it, I’ve heard many stories from women who went to prom with their friend who they either knew at the time was gay, or they know now.  This is my own story.

I didn’t tend to develop a lot of crushes in high school, but there was one guy I had a crush on through my whole junior and senior years – Hottie McBadboy.  Hottie smoked Camels and drove a truck.  He had his upper-ear pierced – twice! He talked about drinking on the weekends and had the kind of smile where you think he is either making fun of you in his head, or is planning some mischief.  And for one amazing semester he sat in front of me in sociology class.  Every day he would write “I <3 Hottie McBadboy” on my hand, and I would spend the rest of the day finding ways to touch my hair or dramatically reach for some, in the way that a newly engaged woman tries to display her ring.  Because of that smile, I was never sure if he was flirting with me or making fun of me, and I didn’t even care.  Because for the 3 seconds it took to Sharpie in “I <3 Hottie McBadboy” we were holding hands!

So, this title is misleading because I didn’t actually go to prom with Hottie McBadboy, we went to a Sadie Hawkins-type Girl Asks Boy dance that was towards the end of the school year.  I only got up the nerve to ask him because one day at lunch he made an exaggerated display of saying, “I wish I had someone to go to the dance with. If only someone would ask me.”  I pretended to sigh and act like I was doing him a favor by asking him to the dance, which maybe I was.

I had high hopes for our dance date.  I thought maybe he would invite me to a party with drinking and maybe even marijuana smoking afterwards.  Spoiler alert – I never got invited to a party with drinking or marijuana smoking.  Ever. A week before the dance I called his house and when I said who I was his dad said, “Oh, Luci, who he’s going to the dance with! He’s very excited about it!”  Hottie McBadboy had talked to Mr. McBadboy about me!!  But the thing was, I was calling Hottie to coordinate our outfits, per his request.  I should have known.

So we went to this dance and we even danced to a couple slow songs and an hour into the dance he said he needed to get home and get to bed early.  I was stunned.  This kid didn’t go to bed early, he went to parties! He didn’t listen to his dad, he drank with his dad!  I was convinced he had some cooler place to go with cooler girls than me.  I went home and watched the Daytime Emmys and cried when Susan Lucci won her Emmy for the first time after having lost 18 times, even though I cared about neither the award nor All My Children. (Insider Tip: I wasn’t really crying for Susan Lucci.)  It was years later, after some much-needed distance and perspective that I remembered that Hottie’s stomach was rumbling during our slow dance. And that he had disappeared for a while shortly after we got to the dance.  Hottie didn’t leave to go somewhere cooler, he went home so he could have diarrhea in the comfort of his own bathroom!  If only I could have realized that then, instead of standing in the parking lot in my coordinated outfit, watching him driving off in his truck, lit Camel out the window, feeling like a loser.

Maybe it would have helped if I’d realized he was gay.  After college I found him on MySpace, saw that he was gay, and sent him a bizarre message full of over-disclosure to which he never responded.  He unfriended me a few months later.  He comes up now on my Facebook friends suggestions:  “You and Hottie McBadboy have 31 friends in common!”  One of these days I will summon the courage to add him, and maybe I’ll send him a link to My High School Boyfriend Was Gay.

7 replies on “My Prom Date Was Gay”

I just posted on tumblr this week about how the boy who was almost my date to prom was gay (he canceled on me the week of), and how the guy I had a crush on for 2 years and who finally danced with me at prom later came out as gay. Random.

Is there something about us clever, bookish women that we are drawn like moths to the flame of gay men?

My junior prom…I didn’t take a gay friend to prom with me, I took a guy who had a girlfriend (who wasn’t me! Wow, must she have been cool), but I bit a gay guy. That’s right. I bit him. How? Sometimes when you’re 16, have never been kissed, and think your gay friend is cute, you decide to end the kisslessness thing…and fail.

Everyone had a great time anyway, despite being bitten or borrowed from other women. :)

My senior year I brought a gay friend as my prom date. He was the brother of my ex boyfriend and he and I managed to become really close friends. My ex was super irritated that I took his brother to prom, but we had so much fun. He was an underclassman and was only 15 (I was 18) and he had such a blast whooping it up with us older folks. He is still a good friend of mine. I also managed to smuggle him into a gay bar where my cousin worked as a bouncer afterwards and we danced the night away. I would highly recommend bringing a friend as your date to prom or any other dance. I did it for just about every school dance in HS, and it took so much pressure off. We just had a good time.

OMG. Just Wednesday I got a phone call ftom my gay prom date!! We went jr year, and then sr yr he ditched me for another girl Gay prom dates were in HOT demand back in the day. They still are, I guess. ANYWAY, my gay prom date called me Tuesday to apologize for ditching me twenty years ago. It was on the radio– if the file uploads, the set up is at the beginning of the audio, my part starts at 35:00.

My boyfriend senior year of high school turned out to be bisexual. I found out two years later from a mutual friend that he told (yeah, she probably shouldn’ t have said anything, but she made me swear not to say anything…which apparently didn’t apply to her, but whatever). In retrospect it definitely explained a lot! Him and I are actually much better friends now than we ever were in high school.

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