Hello all! This week we saw our first mini troll invasion after PileofMonkeys’ post, Feminism and Facebook: Let the Sandwich Thing Die, got FARK’ed.
Thankfully, very few of them decided to comment here, and we were able to beat them back with our Ban-O-Matic and the disemvoweling button. All that remains is a slight lingering odor and a hankerin’ for a good sandwich. My personal favorite is roast beef with cheese, lettuce, sprouts, and cucumber. How about you? What’s your favorite sandwich?
*Optional topic for discussion ““ If someone were to have the poor taste to demand that you “go make me a sammich” in real life, instead of taking advantage of the anonymity of the Internet where you can be as much of a jack-hole as you want without any consequences, what would your reaction be? I know if it were me and my husband, I would chuckle and say, “Yeah right, you go make me a sandwich.”
15 replies on “LTP: 5/13”
As xkcd has taught us, the only correct response to “Make me a sandwich” is “sudo make me a sandwich”.
Hmmm favourite sandwich. A bakery I used to live near does a sandwich with curried chicken, cashews and baby spinach, served on a big slab of fresh bread, that might be close!
I’m a picky eater and my ideal sandwich is white bread, butter, chicken breast, (yellow!) american cheese. I also like a good, fresh bolillo with sliced banana- boring but delicious.
If Mr. Mona ever told me to make him a sandwich I’d ignore him, but if he asked me, I totes would. However, he prolly wouldn’t like it (see above description of sandwiches I can make).
Once one of Mr. Mona’s friends thought it would be really funny to say something to the effect of “women belong in the kitchen.” He got full on bitch face and Mr. Mona’s warning that he better shut up. He did.
Sandwiches! I love them so very, very much. My current most favorite sandwich ever is one I had in Boston a few months ago. Here is how you make it:
– slice an everything bagel in half horizontally. A good one, with salt and onion bits and garlic bits on it. (none of your boring mostly-poppy-and-sesame-seed bagels!)
– apply a thick layer of cream cheese to the inside bottom side.
– put several pieces of smoked salmon on top of the cream cheese. Not a ridiculous amount, but a good quantity.
– add a layer of incredibly thin-sliced raw red onion, more thickly sliced tomatoes, and lettuce.
– and, for the most awesome bit, apply avocado spread (mash avocado, add lemon/lime, salt and cumin) to the inside top side of the bagel.
– nom nom nom.
If someone asked me to make them a sandwich? Let me show you my bishplease face.
My favorite sammich comes from a small, local, soccer-obsessed bar, the Chatham Tap: Crusty, chewy french bread. (Baked so that it’s wide enough for sandwich slices on the bias.) Tart, cold, crisp Granny Smith apples, thinly sliced. Slices of gouda cheese, not to thick, not too thin. A sprinke of cinnamon. The outsides of the bread are lightly brushed with olive oil and the whole sandwich gets griddled until the cheese is melted, the bread is crispy and yet the apples are still cold (ish).
It is an amazing sandwich. It’s salty and sweet. Hot and cold. Crispy and chewy and still soft. I could probably eat one every day.
I have an obsession with Paradise Bakery’s Roast Beef sandwich, which is really sad right now because they’re re-doing the menus and the new roast beef is so not the same and not nearly as good, and I know this because I walked my happy ass into one that has a new menu and asked for half a roast beef and the sandwich they gave me was sad and yellow-looking. I told them never mind. The Paradise next to my (former, as of yesterday) work had the old menu so I got my sandwich yesterday. It was wonderful. I am trying to figure out my new game plan. I think the key to a good sandwich is the bread, personally.
Boyfriend has actually told me to go make him a sammich, but he’s very sarcastic and usually says it right after a very good conversation about feminism. He knows if he ever said it seriously expecting me to make him a sandwich, I don’t know what I would do. He just would not do that. If he really wanted me to make him a sandwich and asked me to do it, it would mean he was really tired or stressed or didn’t feel well, and I would probably do it because I love him and he said “Anniekiiiiiiiiiiiiiins, could you do me a favor and be the most awesome girlfriend in the world Iloveyou can you pleeeeeease make me a saaaaaaaaandwich? Pleeeeeeeeeease?” and then when I brought it over it would thank me and kiss me and declare me world’s bestest girlfriend and then I would tell him owes me. But I can’t even picture him demanding a sammich for reals. I don’t date guys like that (anymore).
Ideal sandwich? As of late, cheesy bun with salami and pepperoni, honey mustard and mayo, romaine lettuce, loads of cucumber and some pickles.
My boyfriend has, jokingly, suggested I make him a sandwich, to which my response is usually “Knuckle or fist?”
My cousin, who is a douche-canoe, once suggested I go back to the kitchen to make some sandwiches on my facebook wall. Then replied with “jk.” I replied with something along the lines of “I have a joke too. What do you call guys who make sandwich jokes? Single.” (Full disclosure, found that response on tumblr somewhere). He had just been dumped by his girlfriend so that whole post was deleted pretty quickly on his end.
My favourite sandwich? Wholemeal bread, a yummy hard cheese and Marmite!
If hubby asked me to make him a sandwich, he’d be likely to hear: “I love you too, sweetie. Make it yourself.”
Favorite sandwich has to be BLT, although since the Mister doesn’t eat pork, I’ve had to forgo my usual, delicious bacon and use facon or tempeh instead. Not bad, all in all, but not quite “it” either…
And for the bonus round, if someone (probably my S.O.) said “Go make me a sandwich” I’d retort with “Only if you put on something pretty and fetch me a beer”.
Mini troll invasion!!
Now these trolls are worth a reply. :)
I don’t care what anyone claims- those are the original and true trolls.
Well, if partnerbot told me to make him a sandwich, I would most likely tell him to go fuck himself. Taking the bait? Entirely. On the internet, I can be rational and impersonal about that kind of stuff, but in real life, generally, it’s like, here’s the line, if you cross it, I will swear at you. It’s all very mature. However if he asked me to make him a sandwich, I probably would, no prob. Although he might not be interested – see below:
My favourite sandwich involves avocado. Definitely. And salt. I like salt. Maybe some other things too, like bread and leafs and stuff. Sandwiches aren’t my forte, clearly.
As a former employee of a coffee shop/sandwich shop, I have kinda grown sick of sandwiches. However, that should mean that any sandwich I STILL love is clearly incredibly important if I love it even after making 10 sandwiches a day, 6 days a week for omg, ever.
Here’s what I do. Take sour dough bread, add mayo (the real, oil and egg super awesome kind) to each side. Lettuce goes on one slice and turkey goes on another. It’s important that the mayo and the turkey have contact. I like to fold my turkey slices in half and then fan them out across the bread. 3 or 4 slices is all you need. Then spread cranberry sauce across the turkey and (for those who can eat it, I can’t but I know it’s awesome) spread cream cheese across the lettuce. It’s easier to do it across the lettuce because it doesn’t tear up the bread if it’s still kinda stiff and cold. On top of the cream cheese would be my favorite part – the secret to the awesomeness – slices of cucumber. Like, put 9 slices on that bad boy. Add a dash of salt and pepper and put the pieces together. (I go with turkey on top of cucumber because it sticks better during the turn – as you can tell, I put a lot of thought into my work.) The order is important. There is a science worked out here.
Now, you would think it’s done but it’s not! Oh, it’s not. Get your skillet ready, a nice medium heat and add a dollop of butter to the pan, right where the bread will go. Set that sandwich on the skillet and grill it until it’s golden and full of beauty. Remove the sandwich, add more butter and repeat on the other side. I usually press the sandwich down a bit to reduce the size and get the bread crispy. Once you’re done grilling it, set it up on a place and slice it.
When I was little I couldn’t decide if I liked it cut in half down the middle or diagonal so I found a happy medium by slicing diagonally down the quarter side. I was a strange kid. I still slice my sandwiches this way. So, yeah, slice your sandwich.
Take a look at that beautiful damn sandwich. It’s got good meat, two vegetables and a “fruit” in there. :)
OMG it’s the best.
The other, less involved, awesome sandwich is a baguette with a serious amount of butter on each side and lots and lots of thin slices of ham in the middle. No vegetables and all the butter you should eat for the day but still. Wrapped in paper and heading down the road, it’s good to go.
But nothing will ever, EVER contend with a solid PB&J. That’s the mother of sandwiches. The holy mother.
Now, if anyone would tell me (asking me is different, I make damn good sandwiches) to go make them a sandwich, they would get to witness the most ugly laugh of all time. Literally rolling on the floor, tears down the face, bellowing like a mule. Cause, seriously, WTF.
I read your description of that turkey sandwich with my mouth, literally, hanging open. That, madame, is a sandwich.
This cafe I used to go to had a really cool vegetarian sandwich, with carrot slivers and kale and I used to add provolone and have it on pumpernickel, and I’m obviously forgetting an ingredient somewhere, but it was terrific.
(Funny, I had some completely misplaced b-s when I linked to the sammich article, too.) And if sweetie told me to make him a sammich, I would be shocked, because he hardly ever says anything in the imperative. I would assume he was fainting of hypoglycemia (which he has) and go make a sammich, prolly.