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Morbid Curiosity

Morbid Curiosity: Egg Colada

Sunday morning I woke up to discover that there was no coffee in the house. It was a minor tragedy, and bloodshed was only narrowly avoided. But in my partially incapacitated state, I decided to try a recipe that I’d been eyeing suspiciously for a few weeks: the Egg Colada.

Egg Colada. Yes. It is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a virgin Piña Colada made with raw eggs. Folks, I make ill-advised food choices on a weekly basis; this is the sort of thing I think is a good idea when my body is missing necessary caffeine chemicals.

Egg Colada in blender
Here goes nothing.

This recipe comes from a pamphlet put out by the Canadian Egg Marketing Agency at some undetermined date (my best guess would be the early 1980s). Way to appeal to the masses, Canadian Egg Marketers! Everyone loves that popular song about drinking Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain, right? What better way to ride that bandwagon than by dropping four raw eggs into the mix?

Egg Colada 2

So, damn the possible salmonella consequences, I was going to pretend I was someplace tropical and drink this Egg Colada! It tasted like a Piña Colada smoothie, so the flavor was fruity and nice. But as for texture, (and I really, truly apologize for this next part to those of you with active imaginations and sensitive gag reflexes) some of the raw egg didn’t blend smoothly into the rest of the drink and there was stringy egg goo in it. (That is probably a legit scientific term.)

In closing, dear readers, if I’m not writing comments here by the time this post shows up on Monday, just assume that I’ve been hospitalized and send me flowers or something.

Egg Colada drink, with cedar trees and Pacific Ocean in background.
This isn't a tropical locale, but that is the Pacific Ocean. Close enough?

 

Egg Colada
1 12 oz. can colada mix
1 cup crushed pineapple*
Juice of ½ lime or lemon
6 ice cubes
4 eggs

Place all ingredients in blender or food processor and blend. Pour into tall glasses and garnish with fresh pineapple pieces. Makes 4½ cups. Serve immediately. Do not use cracked eggs.

*I didn’t happen to have any crushed pineapple, so I used an equal amount of canned pineapple chunks.

By Jen R. L. Disarray

Jen was once described as a "culinary anthropologist". She liked that. When she is not making questionable foods, Jen enjoys reading, sassing, and lurking all over the internet. Jen has a blog called Maybe We Shouldn't Be Eating This, and she is a contributor to the Geekquality podcast and blog.

7 replies on “Morbid Curiosity: Egg Colada”

But as for texture, (and I really, truly apologize for this next part to those of you with active imaginations and sensitive gag reflexes) some of the raw egg didn’t blend smoothly into the rest of the drink and there was stringy egg goo in it.

There is no GIF that accurately captures the face I made at this. It looked so lovely and summer-y in the picture!

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