Come join me next to the fire, and hear the story of eight weird women trying to run a blog. Perhaps you’ve never considered the fact that your editorial team sends dozens of Persephone-related emails to one another daily, or that on busy/traumatic/dramatic days, the emails climb into the triple digits. Those emails can include anything from server panic to grammatical questions, from schedule panic to minor triumphs, from commentroversy panic to personal anecdotes. And always the repetitive mention of unicorns.
And so, I give you a brief, horrifying glimpse into the minds of the women who run this show, presented with little context. Because it’s funnier that way. If this week seems a little Selena-heavy, that’s just because that woman is hilarious. Don’t get her started on anything.
POM: I also threw a bunch of LTPs into Unicorn for emergencies. I live in a world where that sentence makes perfect sense.
Selena: EVERYBODY GO PUT IN INAPPROPRIATE APOSTROPHES.
Selena: And to add inslut to injury”¦
Selena: We’re all hymens and JTT to Google.
Ruby: As to Google, so…TO THE WORLD.
Hattie: Every time we need to put something in a closet, we have to play Shit-Tetris in order to fit it in.
Selena: We are full of unicorn farts and custard pie.
Sara: MiniB has been falling in lava all morning and it has been hard to concentrate.
Selena: “¦Then I took an unrelated shower.
This one requires both timestamp and context for full impact:
7:15 pm: *Selena makes an Oxford Comma dis in POM’s general direction*
7:16 pm ““ Hattie: OH SNAP!
7:16 pm ““ Luci: Oh snap.
7:18 pm ““ Luci: Haha twinsies.
7:18 pm ““ Hattie: Oh, twinsies.
7:23 pm ““ Selena: YOU GUYS ARE FREAKING ME OUT.
7:25 pm ““ POM: Y’all can go screw.
Aaaaand finally (obscenity and/or gibberish warning, name removed to protect the guilty):
PUNCHFACE CHANGESOCK BULLSHIT BLOODFEUD
10 replies on “Editorial Email Theatre”
I don’t know if any of you ladies are fans of twilight fan-fic, but there is one out there called Wide Awake that likens the female orgasm to unicorns……and with that in mind your comments make me laugh…alot! Here’s to getting paid in unicorns!
That is absolutely terrifying.
Wow, this makes us all sound a little unhinged.
For non-writers, we call our emergency supply of back-up articles the unicorn folder, because why the hell not. The unicorn thing started as a stand in for all the money we didn’t have, as all of us were un(der)employed when we started this here ladyblog. See also: glitter cannons, beach houses and cheese platters. Plus, we passed up swirly logos and dancing lady silhouettes, if we didn’t have some stereotypically female frivolity as part of our branding, we’d lose all our credibility. As ladies.
All our writers get paid in vague promises of unicorns, as well. We pay each other in noodlehugs, after we pay the server’s rent.
In short, we fucking love unicorns.
I am going to use this comment as the extra unicorn I was promised I’d find in my paycheck this week.
“Ya’ll can go screw” is one of my favorite comebacks of all time.
They were being mean to me.
I had to cover my mouth at “unicorn farts and custard pie” … and then my hand just had to stay there…
Unicorn pastures for all! As to Google.