Lunchtime Poll

LTP: 7/14

No matter what’s happening politically, we all seem to have some pretty strong ideas about what’s going on and how we could do it better. So today’s LTP question is: if you were running for political office, what would your campaign slogan be, and/or what would be the major issues of your campaign platform?

7 replies on “LTP: 7/14”

I joked with my now ex-boyfriend this time last year that if I ran for office, my slogan would be “Sex toys for everyone!” I had this daydream of campaigning for sex education and starting a sex toy fund where anyone could get subsidized vibrators and cock sleeves. Then, I realized that my slogan was excluding asexual individuals, so I changed it to “Sex toys for everyone who wants them!” Yup, I’ve really thought about this.

“We’re going to do what’s Right. And we’re going to do it right Now.”

I’m not a patient person. I’d probably try to get 95% done in the first 100 days. But then, I’m overly ambitious and this is a fake campaign so… my fantasy wins.

And I would get nothing done without a team so it’d be nice to at least recognize them as part of the Mx+B entity. Thus, “We.”

Also – I tend to throw things at the absurd (figuratively, so far) so if it’s ridiculous, it’s out. I do not tolerate favoritism, hate/segregation, or bribery. So… that pretty much sums up my platform. (I would totally not win)

But I’m terribly moderate and terribly logical so I know I’d be lagging in the polls just because there would be no news about how bat-shit crazy I am. I think they’d just talk about how loud I can get. (Also, I’d probably be known for my sharp shoes because as a woman in politics, that’s all the media seems to care about anyway – that or pantsuits and hair… bastards.)

It always seems to surprise people when they learn that I have no interest in running for public office. Everyone talks about how much better they think they could do things, but the reality is that making laws and enacting policy is really fucking hard, and it requires a lot of compromise and a lot of time thinking about unintended consequences.

That said, I do choose to work for candidates and elected officials who care about things like access to health care, affordable housing, equal rights under the law, sustainable cities, and responsible economic development.

Also, I meant to add that I much prefer to be behind the scenes than run myself because you don’t have to be as nice to people all the time. Man. The amount of people on the street who just walk up to Bossman and great him like a long-lost friend, the folks who screw you but you have to smile and play nice with in public, the forced congeniality every second of every day. I don’t know how people stand it. I’d much rather just do my policy research and write your speeches and handle the little details of everything while you entertain the public, thanks.

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