Morbid Curiosity: European Cuisine Log

That’s right. Everyone burn your passports and relinquish your subscriptions to Bon Appétit. The whole continent of Europe – every taste profile from every country and every region – has been taken into account, broken down, studied, analyzed, and reduced to a single dish: The European Cuisine Log.

At least, that was my first thought when I saw this recipe. It turns out that “European Cuisine” was a line of specialty sausages and meat sticks from a prominent Canadian meat packing company, and the name of this appetizer is derived from that line. Oh well. It’s not like I chose this recipe just to set up that opening joke, right? (Yes, I did.)

The line of meat products that were promoted in this recipe pamphlet aren’t around anymore, so I used a piece of deli garlic sausage. I rolled the log in chopped parsley as per the recipe suggestion and then I gave it two olives for eyes just because I thought it would be cool. As for the taste… it is the sum of its parts. Cream cheese is good on crackers, and sausage is good on crackers, so it stands to reason that the combination of these two ingredients would be a serviceable party appetizer.

If you find yourself invited to a retro-themed pool party this summer, but you don’t have the time or inclination to make a gelatin mold, I would recommend bringing one of these meat logs. They don’t take very long to make and I’ve seen similar recipes for meat/cheese logs in my cookbooks dating back to the early 1960s. So it’s authentic as heck, and dishes just like it would have been eaten at actual mid-century parties all over North America! Just imagine how fantastic those parties would’ve been with everyone frolicking poolside…

Suzanne: Martha, darling! I’m so glad you could make it! What a enticing looking meat log!

Martha: Mmmm. I’ll say! Your husband is certainly well-end… Oh! This old thing? Yes, this is actually a “European Cuisine Log.”  I’m very Continental, you see.  How is your husband, Suzanne? Still the sole bread-winner, I hope!

Suzanne: Oh my, yes. Of course!  By-the-by, Martha, have you noticed anything strange about Ethel since she started reading The Feminine Mystique?

[Ethel enters party with burning bra in hand.]

Fin.

European Cuisine Log
1 250g package cream cheese, softened
1 250g piece of deli sausage, any variety, grated on a cheese grater or shredded using a food processor
1 teaspoon horseradish
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Freshly ground black pepper
1 green onion, finely sliced
Chopped parsley or nuts

Combine first six ingredients. Form into a log shape. Wrap in plastic wrap. Refrigerate. Before serving, roll in chopped parsley or nuts. Serve with an assortment of crackers.

This recipe comes from  Maple Leaf brand “Host ‘n Hostess Guide” Volume III, printed in 1982. Further publication information was not available.