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Op Ed

Unecessary Pink LadyBeer is Unecessary

In a panic because ladies aren’t downing beer like the menz, Molson Coors is continuing its brand assault against good beer by introducing a frothy pink confection they’ve nonsensically named Animèe. I hate to break it to Coors, but I’m pretty sure ladies don’t drink their beer because it’s swill, not because it’s not pink. 

This product is every ladytrope you’ve ever heard, left to ferment in a barrel made of floral motifs and Carrie Bradshaw’s shoes.

As if the floral bottle and being fucking PINK wasn’t enough, Animèe comes in three flavors: clear filtered, crisp rosé, and zesty lemon.  I don’t know about you, but if I were to have a serious think on what Coors needs to do to attract women to its brand, creating the beer equivalent of My Little Pony piss wouldn’t even come up.

Source: This Time article, which is an adventure in and of itself.

By [E] Selena MacIntosh*

Selena MacIntosh is the owner and editor of Persephone Magazine. She also fixes it when it breaks. She is fueled by Diet Coke, coffee with a lot of cream in it, and cat hair.

16 replies on “Unecessary Pink LadyBeer is Unecessary”

Dear Molson Coors,
The reason I don’t drink your beer is because it tastes like watered down urine, not because it hasn’t been marketted to me in a way that insults my entire gender’s intelligence. Tonight I’m going to have myself a nice chocolate stout and scoff at your “rosé”.
I’d rather drink Pil than Coors Light or Canadian any day (Or Bo. Shout out to my flatlander family). I’d rather drink Lucky. I’d rather drink freaking Boxer.

I could see this working as a gateway beer and getting more girls fully invested in the Coor’s brand for life. I know a lot of girls who started with either Corona or something by Mike’s who eventually moved onto “real” brands after they developed a taste for what they wanted.

I’m not personally a fan of beer, though I tried this apricot ale the other day that was so good I might consider it passable.

I just don’t see why we can’t wrap up some tasty, fruity, highly-alcoholic beverage in a gender-neutral wrapper so we can all appreciate it without anyone feeling excluded. Are advertisers too afraid that men might get their period if they drink anything that doesn’t look like Bob the Builder made it and isn’t accompanied by women sloshing it over their white t-shirt clad bodies?

Men deserve way more credit than advertisers give them.

I taught Cleopatra how to apply eyeliner.

My walk is so amazing that they had to invent runways to properly showcase it.

All of the famous haircuts in history were originally called “The pileofmonkeys.” They had to change them to “The Rachel” and “The Farrah Fawcett” to avoid confusion.

I am The Womanliest Woman in the World.

I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, you can bet it won’t be some shitty pink Coors product.

Dear Beer Companies,

Hi! How are you? I’m having a great summer. Say, I saw that Coors was releasing three new beers just for us ladies! I look forward to being able to pour your tasteless artificially colored swill down my gullet without feeling like I’m a gender traitor. Now, finally, my hoity toity female wine conoisseur friends who have heretofore been limited to a small selection of lady-friendly wines like Arbor Mist (mmmm, raspberry flavored syrup and merlot = a match made in heaven) will have a beer option that is compatible with their vaginas. I hope you don’t think I’m being bossy, because I’d hate to be a bitch, but may I offer you a thought that that occurred to me? Rather than inventing a whole new line of products just for us girls, it might be more cost effective to attract women to your existing line of products by just doing ads for regular beer without constantlyrelyingontiredhackneyedsexist tropes .

Yours,
Proboscidea

I think if Coors wanted more women to drink their products they would do better to advertise their existing beers in a way that wasn’t insulting to the ladies, rather than creating a new beverage that says “Try this girls. You’ll like, it’s pink!”

WOMEN LIKE BEER. THEY LIKE IT BECAUSE IT TASTES LIKE BEER.

I was going to post the same thing. I don’t drink beer because it’s not pink– I don’t drink it because it tastes like beer. If I did drink beer, I wouldn’t drink it because it’s pink, I’d drink it because it tastes like beer.

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