Recap: Haven, Ep. 2.3 “Love Machine”

Down on the docks (and I get that it’s a seaside town, but does everything have to happen down there?), the captain of the fishing boat the Maggie Kelly tries to get his hanging net unstuck. As he rummages around for a tool, the net swings over his head and drops a giant haul of fish on him.

Elsewhere, Duke shows the Audreys a place over the Gull he’s renting out. Duke observes that Fraudrey’s “not as nice as the blonde one.” The Audreys kind of ignore Duke as they reminisce about more childhood stuff. Audrey asks Fraudrey if she’s heard of Lucy Ripley; she says no. She shows Audrey the book from Agent Howard’s house, in which a set of coordinates are written. The coordinates are to a place ten miles up the coast (with no road access) called Kicking Jenny Neck. I would love to hear the story behind that name. Audrey wants to check it out, but she gets a call about the accident, and reluctantly agrees to “let” Fraudrey check it out alone.

Back at the docks, Nathan introduces himself as interim chief. Jimmy Halsey, the owner of the Maggie Kelly, doesn’t look impressed. He accuses the captain, who’s on a stretcher and wearing an oxygen mask, of mishandling his machinery. Their disagreement is cut short when the boat starts pulling away from the dock. The captain accuses the boat of trying to kill him and Audrey snarks that now it’s trying to escape. The tension of the boat pulling away while still tethered causes a crane to smash the captain flat.

Halsey, charmingly, is more concerned with getting the boat back in business than the death of his employee. He doesn’t want to hear Audrey’s homicidal boat theory. Audrey demands to see repair records and manifests before the Maggie Kelly goes back out. Nathan’s interviews with the crew don’t reveal any motives for the captain’s murder. Nathan wonders if the boat’s done this sort of thing before.

Dave and Vince bring the cops info on the Maggie Kelly. The boat was renamed ““ after it sank ten years ago ““ which is apparently bad luck. The detectives wonder if they’re dealing with some cranky ghosts. From the man who rebuilt the ship, Louis Pufahl, they learn that the crew went down with the ship and came back up ““ still at their posts. Well, that’s good and creepy. Louis’s girlfriend, Marcia, wants to ask Nathan about having a “hot stove” meeting but he blows her off. Nathan tells Audrey he has no intention of continuing the meetings, which his father started up as a way for people to air Trouble-related grievances. Nathan thinks they’re nothing but a whine-fest.

While at Louis’s, the cops get another call. They head to the port, where a crane has destroyed a car belonging to Curtis, a union organizer who was battling with Halsey over worker safety. Audrey and Nathan are pretty sure Halsey’s their man. They try to goad Halsey into siccing some machines on him by telling him they’re shutting him down, but instead a forklift and a fan collude to kill Halsey.

At the apartment Duke’s renting, Evvie stops by to harass him some more. She wants to rent the place but Duke tells her she’s too late. I hope Evvie has something to do with the Troubles because this storyline is boring the hell out of me. Audrey temporarily provides a welcome diversion by showing up to talk to Duke.

Nathan and Audrey have determined that the killer machine activity is moving towards town. They get a perfectly timed call about a hockey puck machine going apeshit.

Meanwhile, Fraudrey shows Duke a file she has on Duke that is evidence of his criminal activity. He reluctantly agrees to take her to the coordinates from the book in exchange for his file. Evvie hangs around trying to eavesdrop; she’s all jealous until Duke explains the blackmail. Evvie offers to steal the file but Duke declines. She bitchfaces as he drives away with Fraudrey.

At the hockey rink, Marcia says the machines have been “possessed” before; that’s why she wanted to have a hot stove meeting. Currently, the player piano is playing a song that hasn’t been loaded. Marcia’s glad she’s planning to leave town and move to Florida, hopefully with Louis.

As Audrey sits down at the piano, it stops playing. Audrey starts playing, but it turns out she doesn’t know (or doesn’t know that she knows) how to play. She’s more convinced than ever that she’s Lucy Ripley. Then Audrey and Nathan learn that Louis has worked on all the machines that are coming to life, and conclude that he’s the one connected to the sentient machines.

Out on Duke’s boat, Fraudrey tells him he’s the most normal person she’s met in Haven. They chitchat, and Duke learns that Fraudrey’s seeing a guy named Brad, who doesn’t know she’s in Haven for personal reasons.

At Louis’s workshop, the dispatcher tells Nathan that Louis has fixed a long list of machines. Nathan remembers that Louis also worked on the police radios. Audrey is worried the machines are listening in.

At Kicking Jenny Neck, Duke stays with the boat while Fraudrey closes in on the coordinates. She finds a (seemingly?) abandoned barn in the middle of the woods and opens the door. She says, “What the hell?” but we don’t see what’s inside.

At the repair shop, the machines trap Audrey and Nathan and start attacking them. After an unfortunate set of events involving a gas tank and a blow torch, the detectives realize they can’t wait for the nail gun to run out of ammo. They make it out just in time before the shop blows up. Nathan has a back full of nails but decides they should find Louis before going to the hospital. Turns out Louis is at home, having a close encounter with a garbage disposal and several other disgruntled household objects.

Duke is in the woods, calling for “Audrey 2.” Heh. He turns to find her holding a gun on him. She doesn’t remember the file she had on him, or how to holster her gun. Duke realizes something is very wrong.

Nathan and Audrey arrives at Louis’s house just as he’s escaping out the front door. They conclude that the machines are hurting people who want Louis to leave town ““ the captain of the Maggie Kelly wanted Louis to go to Alaska, and Marcia wanted him to move to Florida with her. Now Marcia’s in danger.

She’s at the hockey rink, wearing headphones and oblivious to the ice resurfacer bearing down on her. Admittedly, I know very little about what goes on at a hockey rink, but wouldn’t you at least feel the vibration of the floor?

Louis, Audrey, and Nathan arrive to find Marcia pinned to the wall by the machine. The cops determine that the machine hasn’t killed her yet because it’s sending Louis a message, though it doesn’t make sense that the machines are moving from murder to attempted murder to get their point across. Work better, not harder, homicidal machines! Next time, send Louis a text message or something.

Anyway, the Zamboni apparently wants some TLC from Louis so he putters around and it lets Marcia go. Nathan drags her away while Audrey informs Louis he has to stay in town to keep the people he cares about safe. Way harsh, Haven.

Later, Duke has brought a terribly confused Fraudrey to the police station. Audrey gently explains that she’s FBI Agent Audrey Parker, and she likes matinees and pina coladas. Something like that. It’s actually quite sweet. Audrey tells her they’re friends, “like sisters,” and that it’s going to be okay. Audrey knows Fraudrey is going to need full-time care, and Duke volunteers Brad. They give Brad the sanitized, double-Audrey-free version of what’s happened. He seems a bit more familiar to Fraudrey, who thanks Audrey before they leave.

At the Gull, Evvie drops in for her daily disturbance. Duke tells her he got the file ““ but Evvie knows he’s lying because she stole it. She’s hurt that he lied to her (no, seriously) and stalks off.

Nathan and Audrey make their own trip out to the coordinates, where they find a patch of discolored land where clearly a house once stood. Nathan vows to keep looking for answers.

The episode concludes with some lady warbling a version of “Your Song” over various scenes. Duke looks through his file. Marcia drops off some food for Louis; the shop is “closed until further notice” but the whine of a saw inside is audible. Nathan moves his stuff into the Chief’s office. Audrey has moved into the apartment, where she sits playing the piano. Aw.