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LTP 9/30/11

You know, Facebook is great. Every time I get hit by a wave of self-pity or resentment or nostalgia, I can use Facebook to search for the evil bitches in junior high who made fun of me and see how much worse their lives are than mine. Is this a nasty behavior? Of course it is. But it feels really good.

(My personal favorite: the girl whose grades were always a hair higher than mine, to whom teachers constantly compared me – negatively – dropped out of high school to have the first of her four kids. I sincerely hope she’s happy as a mother, but I like that I’ve been ultimately more academically successful. I know that’s horribly bitchy, but it’s also extremely gratifying.)

It's complicated, indeed.

So my question for you is: what are the ways you’ve dealt with negative people and issues from your past? Revenge? Triumph? Therapy? Ice cream therapy? Maybe even reconciliation?

Or are y’all just Facebook stalkers like me?

By Meghan Young Krogh

Meghan had a number of quality writing mentors over the course of her education, which just goes to show that you can't blame the teacher for the way the student turns out. Team Oxford Comma represent.

8 replies on “LTP 9/30/11”

I’m a big time stalker, same examples as the rest of you. But I have once exception of how unhealthy FB stalking actually diffused by own irrational fears. The future-MrWine has an ex-wife who has always been a FB friend of his, but didn’t change her privacy controls when FB opened up profiles. He had already told me a little about her, why they divorced and that he talks to her occasionally. But I was still curious about her– what was she like? I knew she was attractive enough to have a certain career, but what else?

Anyway, she now has lax privacy and I found myself looking at her page often. It drove me a little crazy at first, but after a while, I learned that she’s just a woman. She’s not some mysterious creature. She eats lunch and goes to the gym and has a dog and likes sunny days and visits her family. She has an unusual career, but she’s just a person. I don’t think I would have ever really understood that without seeing her day-to-day life. So I feel guilty about prying, but now all my insecurities are gone and the end result is much healthier.

Ditto on FB stalking. I think it’s pretty hard to beat FB in terms of comparing “then” and “now”. You can see photos, where they work (if they work), who their friends are, etc. On the other hand, FB has also helped me to forgive people that I once fostered some major resentment towards. Through stalking, I’ve been able to see that the total dude-bro douchebag who used to prank call the dotty math teacher during class is now volunteer teaching ESL in a small village in Ecuador. So I guess it goes both ways.

That is surprising and delightful. I wonder how many others have seen people EVOLVE into something better over the years, via facebook? (I unfortunately have not. Most of the people I check in on – isnt that a nice way of putting it? – have been depressingly predictable in their adult lives. I’m usually the one people are like, “WAIT YOU’RE LIVING WHERE DOING WHAT?!” and I don’t even think it’s all that stunning what I’m doing.

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