Swimming is Fun! Being Underwater (On Your House) Sucks!

I bought my house a little more than three years ago. At the time, I thought I was getting a great deal; the brand new townhouses were being auctioned off at well under their listed prices because the housing bubble had burst (hah! little did we know…), meaning I, a single woman, could afford to purchase my very own home. Neat!

Yeaaaaahhh… not so much.

Looking back now, I have to acknowledge that there were things fueling my desire to buy the house that were not the most rational of motivators. I had moved back in with my parents due to mounting medical bills, and while I get along incredibly well with my family, telling people you live at home when you are 28 with a good paying full-time job can be kind of a bummer. I had recently broken up with an absolutely toxic person that I had invested a year and a half with, almost obliterating my self-esteem and independence in the process. I was in a bad place mentally and being a homeowner sounded like just the ticket to get back on track. Unfortunately, it has become less a point of pride and more of a “what the fuck was I thinking and where the hell do I go from here?”

Let me be clear, though – I am not trying to get out of paying my mortgage because it wasn’t the best decision on my part. My income has decreased since buying the home, my original mortgage broker knew my payment would be too high for me to swing, but told me I could refinance in 6 months once I had built up some equity (hahahahahahahaha!), and, the value of my home has dropped almost 40% in the past three years, just to name a few factors. I can’t do a traditional refinance because there is no equity in it, so now I am looking to restructure the loan with my lender. This will be my second attempt to get them to help me out. The first try dragged on for almost a year before they basically told me to suck it up and deal. Now I am going for round two in a desperate attempt to keep a house I have poured quite a bit of time, hard work, and money into. I know many readers may be going through similar struggles right now. I know many people have tried and failed to keep their homes. While I want to use this space to provide you all with as much insight as I can into the process of loan restructuring, I am also, selfishly, hoping to find some kindred souls to commiserate with.

I feel incredibly defeated with this house thing. The whole situation leaves me sick to my stomach; I wake up every day with anxiety levels beyond anything I have ever felt. I want to bury my head in the sand and make it all go away. Unfortunately, it is here to stay for the time being, and I’ve got to deal with it whether I like it or not. This will be a psuedo-series of sorts – I will write articles for my regular slot on this topic when I have enough new information to fill a page. The rest of the time I will go back to posting about important topics such as what an asshole my cat is or how to get your partner to do the dishes, like normal. Next week, for instance, I will be attending a “Save Your House” event on Thursday, where the bank sends a bunch of people to a convention center so you can meet one-on-one with a mortgage representative. I am already in the process of restructuring, but I figure it can’t hurt to explore every route available. The events are becoming more common, so I will post a play-by-play for Friday in case you all are thinking of going to one or you just want to laugh at me for spending my day in a hotel ballroom trying to get a banker to take pity on me. An exercise futility, you say? Bring it on!

If any of you are going through similar situations and you have specific questions you would like me to answer or address, please let me know in the comments or feel free to private message me.