Bad Date Food

Yes, there is bad date food. Food that should be avoided if you are planning a date or ordering off of a menu. This is a list, compiled subjectively and with only me as a sample, of foods that should be avoided when dating.

Sushi: I know people think it’s all sexy and romantic to put fish in your mouth with chopsticks, but I know from experience that at some point some of that food is not going to quite make it to your mouth because the piece of sushi was too big or you didn’t grab the chopsticks hard enough. That’s not sexy, let me tell you.

Pasta: This one is a gimme – all of that slurping is not going to make me want to invite you in at the end of the night.

Salad: Salad is bad for two reasons. First, there will always be a piece of over-dressed lettuce that is too big for your fork, leaving you with lettuce and dressing on your chin. Second – salad? Really? A date is fun, and you should order something out of the ordinary.

Asparagus: Asparagus, while easy to eat, will come back to haunt you if you go home with your date. No one wants to get up to go pee in the middle of the night at a stranger’s house only to have your pee smell funky.

Garlic: The exception to this rule is if the person you’re out with also orders garlic, in which case go for it. I find that the smell of garlic cancels itself out when everyone smells like they’ve gone crazy with the garlic sauce.

Anything that will get caught in your teeth: Tabbouleh is the best example of a food that WILL get caught in your teeth on a date.

Coffee: Coffee breath is the worst breath for kissing, trust me. I hate it worse than smoker’s breath. Get your caffeine fix before you leave the house, and brush your teeth before the doorbell rings!

Anything too expensive if your date is likely to pay: Sometimes you don’t know if you’re getting treated to your meal until the end. Just assume that you are because nothing is ruder than picking the most expensive thing on the menu and having someone else pay for it. If you’re not sure, ask your date what they are getting, check the price, and order something around that amount.

What are the foods that you avoid on dates?

By [E] Sally Lawton

My food groups are cheese, bacon, and hot tea. I like studying cities and playing with my cat, Buffy.

3 replies on “Bad Date Food”

Lobster or Crabs…. These are very often thought of as romantic dinner-date food, but in my experience, and one date in particular… when you crack open the claws, if you are not very, shall we say, expert, then the hot water they were cooked in might explode all over your dates face. That was not my smoothest moment.

Not on the menu, but also not a good idea: engaging in animated conversation including gesturing with your hands while drinking a martini. Accidentally throwing a drink in your dates face is embarrassing enough, but to everyone else in the restaurant, it will look like you did it on purpose, which is even worse.

Yeah… I have accidentally splashed my significant other in the face with a lot of different foods. I am a pretty lucky klutz to have such a patient partner.

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