Ladyghosts of TV Past: Battlestar Galactica, Episode 2.01: “Scattered”

Hey Colonials (and Cylons, we don’t discriminate here) welcome to Season 2 of Battlestar Galactica! Previously, we’ve found Kobol, but it’s swarming with frakkin Cylons, causing one of the Raptors to crash; Starbuck has been reunited with Hot Hot Helo; President Roslin’s under arrest, and so is Lee; Head Six and Baltar are going to have a Head Baby, and Sharon’s been “switched on.” She shoots Commander Adama, who, last time we saw him, was bleeding out all over his fancy planning table. Whew ““ quite the cliffhangers for the end of Season One!

As medics swarm the Commander, Colonel Tigh has a flashback to meeting Bill Adama for the first time, in something I’m naming Bill & Saul’s Excellent Adventure. In CIC, Sharon doesn’t understand what’s happened, and Tigh is resolute in sending Lee to the brig, regardless of the fact that his father’s just been shot. Racetrack suggests that Sharon, who wandered around a Cylon baseship without her helmet recently, might have informed the Cylons of the fleet’s position. As if on cue, a baseship shows up on the dradis. Tigh directs the fleet to jump away, leaving their people stranded on Kobol.

In the brig, Lee updates President Roslin about the shooting. Back in the command center, Galactica jumps, and it turns out the fleet isn’t with them. Scattered indeed, and all of this before the opening credits!

After the credits, we’re inside Baltar’s head, inside the opera house, and Head Six is explaining that their baby is coming soon. Literally, their baby. Baltar comes to, and the crew of the crashed Raptor on Kobol is trying to get away from the crash and up to the treeline. There’s some confusion, and although Chief Tyrol suggests they double-check the supplies, Crashdown orders them to move out, quickly.

Back on Galactica, Ellen is both freaking out and nagging Saul Tigh, begging for plot exposition. Apparently, the jump coordinates need to be frequently updated, and while Galactica had the updated coordinates, they hadn’t been sent out to the rest of the fleet. Ellen decides this is Gaeta’s fault, as he was responsible for transmitting the coordinates, but Tigh blames himself. He then goes on to explain to the entire command center that this is Bill Adama’s ship, and will be his ship until he dies. So say we all!

Gaeta informs Tigh that, in order to find the fleet, they need to jump back to Cylon-laden Kobol, and from there it will take 12 hours to calculate the fleet’s current location. Not good. In the brig, Laura Roslin is worried about making the rendezvous with Starbuck, and Lee’s sitting there, literally with his father’s blood on his hands.

Down on Kobol, Socinus, who was injured badly during the crash ““ his lungs are full of fluid ““ is not doing well. He needs medicine, and they’re missing one of the two med kits they pulled from the Raptor. Crashdown, who has been displaying remarkably poor leadership skills this whole time, directs Tarn, one of the deck crew, to go back and get the second med kit. Tyrol volunteers himself and Callie to go with him, as sending one person back by themselves is patently stupid.

Oooh, here we are now back on Cylon-Occupied Caprica! Starbuck is having issues trusting Sharon The Cylon, and when I mean issues, I mean is shooting at her. Hot Hot Helo gives an impassioned defense, claiming that Sharon The Caprica Cylon is not like the others. We then hear engines revving, and find out that Sharon’s flown away in Starbuck’s pet Cylon Raider.

Back on Galactica, our medic reports to Tigh on Adama’s condition (everyone’s favorite chain-smoking physician, Doc Cottle, wasn’t on board Galactica when they jumped.) Someone needs to go in and stop the bleeding, but she’s only a medic. Tigh remembers Adama telling him that he’s getting back into the cockpit ““ we get it, they’ve got a long history. Also, how is it that, out of 50,000ish survivors, there’s only one doctor?

Tigh goes to question Sharon in the brig. Questioning quickly progresses to beating, and he nearly shoots her. Tigh has yet another flashback to Bill & Saul’s Excellent Adventure, and stops himself.

Down to Kobol, where Tyrol and company have recovered the other med kit. On their way back to meet up with the larger group, they’re ambushed by Cylons, and Tarn gets shot a lot. Tyrol risks his life to get Tarn out of enemy fire, but Tarn dies in his arms anyway.

On Galactica, Gaeta is scrubbing himself, perhaps attempting to wash away his guilt from losing the rest of the fleet. Rearranging some soap dishes, he suddenly has a thought! (Gaeta, like myself, obviously does his best thinking in the shower.) Rushing to the command center, he explains to Tigh that if they network several different computer systems on the ship, it will take only ten minutes to complete the calculations necessary to find the fleet (remember: un-networked, this was going to take 12 hours.) Networking, however, is a big no-no on Adama’s ships ““ the main reason Galactica has survived so long is because none of her computer systems are linked, as networked systems are a key way for Cylons to infiltrate and destroy things. Gaeta believes he can create a firewall that will keep the Cylons of out Galactica’s network. Tigh orders the ship to jump back to their previous location, putting Gaeta’s plan into play.

Tigh flashes back to when Adama first told him he was going to have his own battleship one day, and goes and gets his best friend’s son out of the brig. Lee is only paroled, and must stay in his cell while not risking his life to carry out Tigh’s orders. Seems fair. Laura Roslin stays in jail, without passing “go,” collecting $200, or getting to talk with Tigh.

Back in CIC, we jump back into enemy territory, and indeed, there’s a Cylon baseship with raiders swarming out of it.  Gaeta, with his manuals and thick wires and firewalls, tells us it’s going to take seven minutes to calculate the coordinates of the rest of the fleet. Colonial fighters go out to meet the Cylon ships.

Down in sick bay, Adama’s heart has stopped. Our medic from earlier has instructed someone to get her a knife.

Just to add to the tension, a Cylon virus is attempting to hack into Galactica’s computer systems, so it’s time to see if Gaeta’s firewalls are worth anything. The Cylons break through the first of the five levels of the firewall quite quickly.

Out in the dogfight, there’s a new Cylon ship nobody’s seen before. It’s heading straight for Galactica, and the pilots agree it should be taken out… without actually taking it out.

In the brig, the Marine guarding Laura Roslin asks her to pray with him. And now a prayer to the Lords of Kobol while: a woman’s singing in the background, Galactica’s getting shot to hell, Bill Adama’s getting his chest cracked, the firewalls are getting  breached quite quickly, and that new Cylon ship crashes into Galactica. With only one firewall left between the Cylon virus and all of Galactica’s essential computer systems, the jump coordinates are finally calculated. Gaeta breaks the network forcibly, unplugging thick wires from his control panel. Jump!

WE FOUND THE FLEET! There was much rejoicing. Doc Cottle needs to hurry up and get over here, because while Our Medic has done the best she can, Adama’s still in critical condition. In the final chapter of Bill & Saul’s Excellent Adventure, we find out that Tigh had somehow gotten kicked out of the Colonial fleet, but due to Adama, he’s now reinstated. Back in the present, Tigh tells Adama’s comatose body that he never wanted to command, and Adama can’t die on him now.

Oh, hey, remember that weird Cylon ship that crashed into Galactica during the firefight with the base star? Turns out it’s full of toasters. Who are now loose on Galactica! That can’t be good.