Everyone’s favorite Vermont-based ice cream company, Ben & Jerry, is rolling out a new treat for you based on an SNL classic skit just in time for the holidays: Schweddy Balls.
I KNOW, RIGHT!? I totally cracked up when I heard about it, too. Plus, it sounds delicious: rum-vanilla ice cream with malted rum & chocolate balls? Give. Me. Some. O. Dat.
Of course, as with all things that bring us cheer in this great nation, like the repeal of DADT, the Buffet Tax, and drag shows, there’s a conservative organization out to rain on this delicious parade and remind us of why we can’t have nice things. That’s right: One Million Moms is pissed off that our children are being exposed to the filth of Schweddy’s delicious, delicious Balls. They note, sniffily, referring back to the Hubby Hubby gay-marriage-celebrating ice cream from last year, “It seems that offending customers has become an annual tradition for Ben & Jerry’s.”
Well, One Million Moms, protect little Jimmy and Sally from Ben & Jerry’s all you want. The rest of us are going to enjoy our flaming homosexual, left-leaning comedy celebrating, innuendo-laced ice cream, and we’re going to feel smugly liberal because we like the company’s values, and we’re going to get some tasty treats out of it, too.
But in all seriousness: an ice cream flavor based on a well known, light-hearted skit is “vulgar,” “repulsive,” and “offensive”? Isn’t there some pro-gun rally you should be taking your kids to, or some abortion clinic you’re supposed to have little Sally protesting before she can even understand what’s going on? Can’t you leave our ice cream alone? This is America! Land of the sprinkle, home of the parfait, and I want my ice cream with an extra dollop of Alec-Baldwin-NPR-Spoofing on the side.