No matter how content you are to be by yourself, at some point you are going to want to go on a date. Why? Dating is, on occasion, really, really fun. You get to dress up and hopefully get some smoochies at the end of the night. As a single lady, I’ve had some experience getting a date. Allow me to share.
Online Dating
I have a love-hate relationship with online dating. On the one hand, I have met one short-term and one long-term boyfriend online. On the other hand, the selection I see and messaging I’ve enjoyed can be downright horrifying. There was the one guy who spent a full paragraph describing how he had to sleep on the left side of the bed, and then there was the other guy who decided he’d use every move from derailing for dummies once I mentioned my feminism. Of course, I could meet jerks at the bar, too.
The key to online dating is to just approach it with a sense of fun. It’s like being in a bar where everyone is single, so it’s okay to flirt as much as you want. There are some true dogs, but there are also a few foxy options, too. Don’t go trying to find Mr. or Ms. Right. Just approach it as looking for someone with whom to have coffee.
Meeting Someone in the real world
To be perfectly honest, I prefer meeting potential dates in the real world because there is no way to tell if there will be physical chemistry with someone online. I have had some success meeting dates in the following situations:
Go to places by yourself: Having a wing-woman is so overrated. Go to shows, museums, the grocery store, whatever, by yourself. You’re much more approachable when you’re on your own. Shows are great because you automatically have something to talk about with someone. I will also reveal my secret for the greatest pick-up line ever, which is “Can I buy you a beer and talk to you for 5 minutes?” Works every time!
Join Groups: No, you’re not going to find a date at these groups, but you are going to have fun, get out of the house, and meet people who have single friends to whom they’ll introduce you when you get invited to a party (which you will attend by yourself!).
Family/Friends: This is always tricky in case it doesn’t work out. It’s a bit like online dating in that you meet people with whom you might not necessarily have chemistry, but there’s also less pressure to date that person if you don’t. Plus, you already like your friends and family (hopefully) and they probably know people with whom you have things in common.
How have you found dates? Share your stories in the comments.
5 replies on “Single Ladyguide: Getting a Date”
If I ever join OKStupid, someone hold me back. I would probably just use it to vent at lame guys on the Internet.. because I’m passive-aggressive. And they probably have it coming.
I met my one semi-serious boyfriend in literature class. Did not turn out well.
Though school is a pretty good place to join clubs and meet people. It being my senior year though, I feel pretty locked into my group of friends. My school is really small too, so most guys I’m interested in are friendly with my ex. Ready for bigger ponds and more fish.
I found le bf on an online message board for students, he invited me along to the zoo because he got a discount. That’s the first and only bf, so I can’t really help on this.
Online dating seems so terrifying and complicated to me. Like you said, you can meet jerks at the bar, too, but the level of misrepresentation and douchebaggery must just be staggeringly hi with online dating.
So, I know for a fact that my bullshit tolerance level is incredibly low, plus I have Perpetual Bitchface, so meeting people in person in the context of dating was always pretty abysmal for me. (People tend to sling a lot of bullshit on first dates or when trying to pick someone up.) Online dating afforded me the ability to think and critically assess potential dates before they had to be subjected to my bitchface, so in that way it was good for me.
There were still a ton of fucking horrible people in online dating, but I at least got to sift through and reject them in my pajamas without having to encounter halitosis or lack of respect for my personal space.
Other than that, I dated friends, which had mixed results. I’m marrying a guy I met on MediocreCupid, so… Point 1 for online dating. Results may vary.
MediocreCupid! Brilliant!