Open Thread

This Open Thread is Weekendtastic

We’re out until Monday, but make yourselves at home in the open thread!

By [E] Selena MacIntosh*

Selena MacIntosh is the owner and editor of Persephone Magazine. She also fixes it when it breaks. She is fueled by Diet Coke, coffee with a lot of cream in it, and cat hair.

29 replies on “This Open Thread is Weekendtastic”

So in the middle of packing and moving in with my parents, I have to go to a wedding today. I hate weddings anyway, but this one I hate the most of everything, ever. I have social anxiety anyway, but this is for a woman (girl) that I can’t stand, and I am able to get along with most people, at least on a superficial level. But to add to that, the girl my boyfriend had this huge crush on in high school is probably going to be there. This is pretty stupid, I know, but given how much my boyfriend talks about how much he hated high school and people he went to school with, I feel like he’s holding onto the past too much and I worry that he would think that being with her would redeem his high school self. WHICH IS SO DUMB because we are both 27, and maybe it’s because nothing in high school really got to me and I had a very different high school experience than he did, but I just feel like he is really stuck on it. He always tells me about what some juicebox he knew in high school is talking about on FB and then tells me  how spoiled/stuck up/narrow-minded/mean the guy is.

I guess I just don’t understand why he still cares about it. High school sucked for just about everyone, apparently, except for me, because I just did not care and was able to go to a school where there was a very low number of idiots, maybe. I know he probably had it a little rough because he’s shorter (5’6″) and small, even though he still played football and lacrosse, and he always felt emasculated when girls he liked would go out with the big meatheads and tell him they just wanted to be friends. But it seems like he just keeps caring and acting like he has to prove himself to everyone from high school, whom I am sure don’t care about him, either. Am I missing something? The guy has a BA in Poli Sci, graduated from law school, and just passed the bar exam – why does he still feel like he still has to show everyone he’s worthy?

And why can’t I just NOT feel like it’s a reflection on me? I know he loves me and that his other girl means nothing to him, but ugh. Dumb low self esteem.

I don’t wanna goooooooooo!!

Can I just say here, where I know I’m in a community of open-minded and largely feminist ladies of awesome:

If one more of my husband’s friends or family* calls me Mrs HusbandsName I am going to have a very hard time restraining myself from getting stabtastic.

* Granny excepted. She’s so excited to have me in the family, and she’s cool and old, so she gets a pass.

His parents are chill. But the rest of them – holy crap, the rudeness. We actually just got a freaking wedding invitation from friends addressed to Mr and Mrs RahBoy. We live in a Facebook world, people! It takes thirty seconds to look online and go, oh, Rah hasn’t changed her name. I did it when I sent out our invites, because it’s not difficult to check. Surely it’s no longer OK just to assume that every woman changes her name when she gets married?

Am I overreacting?

My rule is that I give people older than 60 a pass (so, my parents’ generation and older), because many of them honestly don’t even consider that not changing your name is an option. Exceptions: my parents, my husband’s parents, and aunts and uncles I’m close to. If I correspond with you at least every month one way or another, you can remember my name, especially if it’s the same one you’ve known me by for 30+ years.

My whole family knows that I have not changed my name because it caused some stirred waters. But they still address everything to me as “Michelle Lewis” instead of “Michelle Miller,” despite my having told them multiple times that I want to keep my own name.

How crazy is it that my husband’s family is accepting of me keeping my own last name but MY OWN FAMILY is not?

Anyhow. I totally feel you and do not think you’re overreacting. You deserve to be called what YOU want, not what others THINK you should want.

I see both sides of it.  Lots of women legally take their husbands’ names but don’t go by it publicly (publications, local theatre, what have you).  Some women change their names but never update their online stuff to reflect that.  I’d only be upset if you’d specifically told them that you’re not changing your name.

I’m leaving Korea for good in three weeks so I’ve been trying to use my weekends wisely but the weather has spoiled everything. We’ve had rain three weekends in a row which has me worrying that I might never make it out on a few hikes I really want to do. I tried to use my time wisely and I went to the fish market today to take some photos since I obviously wasn’t going to be hiking. After that I sought out the most amazing floral print Doc Marten boots but was horrified to find they were $225! Needless to say, I didn’t buy them. Now I’m at home, it’s late, we are eating caramel popcorn, french fries are in the oven, and we’re planning to watch Exit Through the Gift Shop. It’s not exactly what I planned for the weekend but I guess there are worse things I could be doing.

I spent the first part of the weekend checking my gelding’s peepee because it’s all swollen. I narrowed it down to a few options, one of which involved calling the vet, one of which I could wait out and wasn’t very likely anyway, and one of which I could try to fix. So I went with number three and turned him in an arena for a bit. He usually gets regular pasture turnout but the pastures have been closed for weeks, and my dad, who usually takes care of the horses because I live far away right now, has been working weird hours and hasn’t been able to turn our horses out. So after about an hour, the swelling had gone down substantially. I called the vet anyway, because they’re due for fall vaccs so might as well. I know you guys care so much.

Then I came home and my boyfriend decided we needed to have a talk as a prerequisite to continuing the engagement talk, and it was about teh babies, which I am not keen on birthing but highly keen on adopting, and I was pretty sure we were going to break up over it for an hour, and now I am very tired.

We didn’t break up (yay!) and now we’re watching Friday Night Lights while I pack off and on. This weekend I am moving most of my worldly possessions into storage and the rest into my parents’ house and I am pretty disappointed about that. And my dad’s lack of patience due to the weird hours is not helping because it’s a pretty tough week being 27, wanting to just get a job and then get married already, and be moving back in with one’s parents. I feel kind of like after getting my BA in three years, getting three years working experience, and then getting my JD, I am going backwards. But I know I am still really privileged and lucky to have those problems, and I am really privileged my parents can support my backwards-sliding butt, but it really comes down to personal disappointment in myself.

The good news is I will be 100% closer to my ponies and my dog will have someone to play with all day in the shape of my parents’ boxer, and I won’t have to beat myself up every time I pay for something with my parents’ money.

Oh, and once I am done moving, I can commit many more hours to NaNoWriMo. I actually wrote words today! 1,700 to be exact! It’s not nearly where I am supposed to be, but I feel good to have started.

And that was really long. :( I’m tired and wordy.

My husband has corrected me. We are playing Pathfinder, which I hear is a variant of D&D. So as you can tell, I am new to all this.

HOWEVER, I have decided to play a Sorceress with an Arcane Bloodline.

And though I don’t know what a Master Spy is, it sounds awesome and I think I want to have one of those one day.


Hiiiiii guess who is even further behind on NaNo because she decided to self-medicate her shingles with rum and watch a bunch of Battlestar Gallactica?

I give you two guesses.

(I’m up to episode 17… ahhhhhh so many unanswered questions that I want answers to! But don’t want spoilered!)

I hear you. I haven’t even started on NaNoWriMo. I have this huge novel outline I’ve been writing, so I’m only getting a chapter or two outlined a day.

AND THEN I started a new job on 10/31, and guess what the job is? Writing! All day long!

So. I’m thinking NaNoWriMo may not happen this year…

But BSG is gold and you are awesome and keeping watching it. I wish I could experience BSG for the first time again!

That really sucks. I don’t know much about shingles, but I thought it was something people used to get that just kind of phased out thanks to hygiene and fruit and stuff (maybe I thought it was like scurvy), so I googled it and learned a whole bunch. I had no idea chickenpox could go dormant and then come back and get’cha! Stupid chicken pox. Shingles sounds like it sucks, so I’m sorry.

My household firmly believes that alcohol cures all (except for my ulcer, which it exasperates, because my ulcer does not understand that alcohol helps dull the pain that makes it so angry). If you would like to try new rum, might I suggest Kracken? I am not a rum afficianado, but I like it. Plus the bottle is super cool.

I do love me some Kraken, but don’t have any at the house. I keep meaning to pick some up.

Yeah. This was definitely caused by stress. After my ridiculously stressful October, I was so proud of myself for not having an ulcer (which is what I USUALLY get from stress). Oy.

Shingles: boo.

Rum: Hope it was spiced. Mmm.

BSG: One of the only shows I wish I had conceived of. And written. God it’s so good. The other one is Avatar: The Last Airbender. If you haven’t watched it, you must. It’s sooo good. Never mind that terrible white-washed movie. Cartoons FTW!


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