If Bobby Flay Can Do It, So Can I: Guacamole Hot Dogs

So even though I doubt whether or not this merits a recipe, the guacamole hotdog is a thing of beauty. It’s actually quite elegant, and I am using the mathematical definition of elegant here. The cool, creamy guacamole serves as the perfect complement to the hot and salty hotdog. Personally, I go for the veggie dogs myself, and I can say with some certainty that this, erm, recipe is a winner.

Here’s the thing: this doesn’t really feel like a recipe. Before I posted this, I did a Google search on the topic of “guacamole hotdogs,” just to see if it was a thing people other than me actually did. And guess what? Not only is it a thing people do, but Bobby Flay and the Food Network set a precedent for this guacamole hotdogs thing to be posted as a recipe. I feel like a recipe requires work: multiple steps, various kitchen utensils, lots and lots of cooking. But nope! Apparently, a recipe can be as simple as putting thing A on thing B. I’ve always seen that as more of an “idea” than a “recipe,” but then again, I am no expert.

Anyway, here’s the whole recipe: buy or make yourself some guacamole and put that green goop all over a hot hotdog. But let’s make it official ““ here it is in recipe form!

What you need:

• Hotdogs
• Hotdog buns (one for each hotdog)
• ½ cup of guacamole for each hotdog you intend to eat (plus bonus if you want to get rowdy and have some guacamole and chips or something)

Prepare the hotdog according to the instructions on the package. I microwave my veggie dogs in tepid water. That sounds nasty, but that’s what the package says (minus the tepid part ““ that’s personal artistic license, OK). Then, put the hotdog in the hotdog bun. Admire your handiwork. That is one good looking hotdog ““ and look at all those double entendres whipping about! I whip my double entendre back and forth! I whip my double entendre back and forth! I bet you forgot all about that song.

Oh right, the recipe ““ let’s get back to that.

Now take that guacamole and apply liberal amounts all over that hotdog. Be super liberal with it ““ make Barack Obama proud. Maybe he’s not liberal enough ““ make Bernie Sanders proud! Use that hotdog to argue for steeper taxes for the 1%! Use that hotdog to promote a green-as-guacamole environmental agenda! And then, when you’re done crusading, eat that hotdog like a champ.

Now, it’s possible to dress things up a bit: add chopped onions or chili or cheese or any combination of those to make a much more complicated (and in my opinion, not more delicious) hotdog concoction. But who needs that when you’ve got guacamole?